My wife has had Alzheimer’s for nine of our 46 years together. Two mottos guide us: "Learn to dance in the rain" and "There is a lot of life after diagnosis." With Dylan Thomas, we will "not go gentle into that good night."

Our marriage vows included promises of mutual, unconditional care in "sickness and health." Our children and I are her primary care partners, though many friends work with us. Though difficult, there is beauty and softness in care partnering, and in death.

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In "A humane solution to Alzheimer’s epidemic" (Opinion, Jan. 28) Sylvia Kronstadt suggests that people diagnosed with Alzheimer’s pre-select the time and manner of their death. We totally disagree.

Kronstadt’s approach denies us opportunities to render care and repay debts. What if it is hard? We were once burdens on our parents, who cleaned up our unpleasant "accidents" and messes, filthy diapers, vomit and behavioral problems. We certainly then had no concept of what we were inflicting on them. Shall we have an opt out for infantile unpleasantness as well?

I do not romanticize our care-partner and care-recipient roles. They are part of loving, caring and experiencing this phase of our lives.

Leonard Romney

Holladay