By Ann Cannon

| The Salt Lake Tribune

I’ll say this about Vegas — the local ads there are a LOT more colorful than the ones we get here.

I know this because my youngest brother, who lives in Vegas, always forwards me stuff he receives. Recently he sent me a Groupon advertising a "pole-dancing package." For only $29 (dude! A 55 percent savings!) my girlfriends and I can learn basic burlesque moves, as well as receive free champagne and VIP admittance to "nine hip Vegas clubs."

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I know. Nine clubs! Each one of them hip!

I can see it now. After graduating from pole-dancing school, my girlfriends and I go club-hopping so we can show off our basic burlesque moves, which is totally awesome, except for the part where we throw out our backs in the middle of the dance floor.

Because we’re old, don’t you know.

This week my brother forwarded me a flier from his local 99 Cent Store with this heading: "Attention all Romeos! Valentine tips from your friends at the 99 Cents Store!"

Who can pass up a headline like that? If there’s anything I need these days, it’s a few good "Valentine tips." And I must say I was NOT disappointed. Our friends at the 99 Cent Store have kindly generated two lists for us consumers — one with good gift choices for our special someone (displayed on the left side of the page) and the other (displayed on the right side of the page) highlighting a few bad gift choices.

America! What a country!

In case you’re interested, here are a few of the good choices:

1. Chocolate roses (13 inches tall) with long stems

2. Live flowering plants

3. Photo frames

4. Champagne flutes (two pack)

5. Intimate apparel

6. Jordache fragrances

7. Fine European chocolates

8. Whipped cream