It's a marked shift in tone from 10 years ago, when conservatives rejected a proposal for an "amicable separation" as premature. "I don't want us to talk about separation," Dunnam said after the church's 2004 assembly, before the same-sex marriage issue swept the nation. "That's not a game where our energy needs to be focused."
As 19 states and the District of Columbia now allow same-sex civil marriage, the debate has consumed America's mainline denominations, with the outcome ranging from bitter divisions to agree-to-disagree compromises.
The issue is especially heightened within Methodism, where holiness — the beliefs and practices toward Christian purity — is foundational in its theology. And as Methodist membership plateaus at home and grows in parts of Africa, overseas delegates have helped hold the line against growing pressure to liberalize church policy on gay clergy and same-sex marriage.
Amid a wave of open defiance about rules that prevent pastors from presiding at same-sex marriages, and a host of high-profile church trials that have largely upheld church policy, some UMC pastors say the 11.8 million-member church has reached an impasse. Many feel that the sexuality debates simply touch on larger issues of how Methodists understand Scripture and how leaders uphold church teaching.
Frank Schaefer, a former Pennsylvania pastor, was found guilty of violating church law when he officiated at his son's 2007 wedding, though his appeal will be heard June 20. Schaefer was told he could keep his clergy credentials if he recanted his support of gay marriage, but he refused.
The tipping point for many conservatives came, however, after Bishop Martin D. McLee of New York announced in March he would drop a case against a retired seminary dean who officiated at his gay son's 2012 wedding and called for an end to church trials for clergy who violate the denomination's law on ministering to gays.
The pastors saw McLee's move as failing to uphold agreed-upon church teaching. He should have gone through proper means of changing the church's stance on sexuality, they say, rather than declining to uphold the church's Book of Discipline, or constitution.
"Tensions are reaching a point where it's become a destructive scenario," the Rev. Larry Baird, pastor of Trinity United Methodist Church in Grand Island, N.Y., said in an interview. He noted that leaving the denomination is not the group's first option. "We're hoping there's a win-win way out for those in profound disagreement."
Hailing from the UMC's five jurisdictions, 80 pastors and theologians released a statement Thursday outlining the crisis they see emerging within the UMC. They pointed to pastors who violated the Book of Discipline, a lack of subsequent punishment, a crisis over the authority of Scripture and differences in how leaders are teaching the practice of holiness.
Traditionalists believe the Scriptures are clear in barring same-sex relations, while progressives see full inclusion as a matter of God's love and justice, they note in the release.
Most recently, the UMC decided to expand benefits of its agencies' employees to include same-sex spouses who live in states that allow same-sex marriage, even though same-sex partners can't get married within the UMC.
"Talk of a 'middle way' or of 'agreeing to disagree' is comforting and sounds Christ-like," the statement states. "However, such language only denies the reality we need to admit. Neither side will find 'agreeing to disagree' acceptable."
Other mainline denominations have already gone through many variations on same-sex ordination and marriage, moving more quickly on the issue than the UMC, which has a global, more conservative membership; about one-third of the church's members are found in Africa, Asia or Europe.
"Can we not learn from the pain that other mainline denominations have experienced and find a way forward that honors [Methodism founder John] Wesley's rule that we do no harm?" the statement says. "A way where there are no winners and losers, but simply brothers and sisters who part ways amicably, able to wish each other well?"