"I've got to get a nice big ring if you're going to be kissing my hand," replied Colbert, who seemed — uncharacteristically — unsure of how to play the exchange.
Dolan was Colbert's only guest on the show, and he ended the interview asking Dolan what would happen if Pope Francis retired and Dolan were elected pontiff — what name would he take.
The cardinal laughed, along with the audience, and after a long pause, said simply: "Stephen."
It was well-timed, and Dolan got in the last laugh even as he got the first one.
Here are some other highlights from the conversation between Colbert and Dolan:
On Dolan's new ebook, "Praying in Rome: Reflections on the Conclave and Electing Pope Francis":
Colbert • "So this blows the lid off the papal conclave."
Dolan • "There's really not much to say — I lost."
Colbert • "You did not get the gig. … I was pretty mad because I had 50 bucks on it."
On Pope Francis:
Colbert • "I don't care for the guy."
Dolan • "He loves you, Stephen."
Colbert • "Well, it's unrequited at the moment. I'll tell you why. Here's the thing: He's too soft. He's too soft on sin, for me, this pope. You heard what he said about atheists? He said even atheists are redeemed by Christ. … If even atheists are redeemed by Christ, why have I been going to Mass every Sunday? I could have gotten another nine holes in! What do you think that means?