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Kirby: Organ donors don't discriminate. Should you?

Published June 1, 2012 2:22 pm

This is an archived article that was published on sltrib.com in 2012, and information in the article may be outdated. It is provided only for personal research purposes and may not be reprinted.

Last month, a church softball league in Pennsylvania opted to exclude Mormon teams from participating. The reason: Mormons aren't Christian enough to be on the same field with the Lord's true best friends.

I won't belabor the story. You can find out more (including some really disturbing feedback) by doing a Web search for "Mormons and softball."

With all due disrespect, this behavior is exactly what's wrong with the world: the notion that we're all somehow so different that discrimination is the best way to handle it.

Note: I think it's moronic when Mormons do this, too. The Grove City Area Church Softball League story is just one of the most recent (and ridiculous) examples of Christ's mandate to "love one another" gone idiotically awry.

I have a question for the Jesus police and anyone else who can look through a keyhole with both eyes open. It's an important theological matter the Savior never addressed.

What if one of you gospel posse dimwits ends up with my liver? It's a Mormon liver. According to you, it can't really be a Christian liver, can it?

Another note: I wouldn't want my liver, either, but this has nothing to do with whether it's Bible certified. I've just done some things to it that I shouldn't have.

But you still should be worried. When I renewed my driver's license last month, I became an organ and tissue donor. As soon as I'm dead, my Mormon parts go on the market.

I'm betting that if you or a loved one desperately needs a kidney, you won't give a damn which softball team it comes from.

Organ donation is a great arbiter of what truly matters in life —specifically that we're all far more alike than we aren't, and maybe we should focus on that.

Hey, all things being equal, the corneas of a Jew will work just fine on a set of Muslim eyeballs. And the heart of a gay person will beat just fine in the chest of the most ardent Proposition 8 supporter.

You could put the lungs of a black man into a Klansman and nothing bad would happen except maybe when the doctor broke the news to the recipient. Hell, I would actually pay to watch that happen.

Still, you can't entirely ignore the theological ramifications of a "parts is parts" claim. So I did some checking.

The LDS church is just fine with its members, of which there are millions, registering as organ donors. It's a great way to help others. Hear that you Mormon-bashers? You better stay healthy.

I also called the Utah Donor Registry (http://www.yesutah.org) to see if there might be any religious problems in being an organ donor. I spoke with a very patient woman named Dixie Madsen.

Me: "When I crawl out of the grave on the morning of the 75th resurrection, will I still have my liver?"

Her: "I think so."

Me: "But what if you already gave it to an atheist?"

Her: "We don't discriminate like — who is this?"

I became a serious organ donor in that moment. Doctors — real Christians and otherwise — could give my parts to practically anyone, including people who think I'm in league with Satan.

I know what you're thinking: "Verily, Jesus Christ King never said anything about interdenominational organ transplants."

Yeah? Well, he never said anything about softball, either. But that didn't stop you from making it a major religious point.

Robert Kirby can be reached at rkirby@sltrib.com or facebook.com/notpatbagley. Eric Church to headline in WVC

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