By Robert Kirby

| The Salt Lake Tribune

Sonny and I heard back from the reality show production company. Every time we think the idea died a natural death, life gets breathed back into it.

On Thursday, the producers emailed us something called a "sizzle reel." I almost deleted it as junk.

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"Sizzle reel" sounds vaguely distasteful, like spam for "skanks gone mental," rude inquiries about my virility, or an offer to help a nun move cash from Nigeria.

Turns out that sizzle reel is a relatively legitimate industry term for a promotional video — like a movie trailer or a preview of what’s to come.

NOTE: I’d send you a link to the video but the producers say it has to stay a secret until they find a network willing (shameless enough) to buy it. I can’t even tell you what it’s about.

Previous working titles for the show had been things like "Dead Cow Towing," or "Where Are We?" and, my personal favorite, "Who Wants to Run Over Zombies?"

Sonny and I watched the sizzle reel and discovered that the company has something far different in mind. I can’t tell you what that is either — partly because it’s also a secret, but mainly because we still don’t know what the hell is going on.

HINT: The intro to the "Sonny & Kirby" sizzle reel features the song "Break On Through to the Other Side," by The Doors. Cool, huh?

Without giving away too much, the highlights are pictures of alligators, dead stuff, more rock ’n’ roll, Sonny telling the producers about a pointless altercation we got into in Gallup, New Mexico, me telling Sonny to shut up, and some disjointed arguing. We showed it to our wives.

SONNY AND ME: "Wow, we’re stars."

OUR WIVES [in unison]: "I think I’m going to be sick."

With the sizzle reel was a note from the promotion editor: "We are all very excited about this on our end, and we hope you are, too!"

As you might expect from stars and other people with suddenly gi-normous heads, Sonny and I immediately had an artistic falling out. Why, I wanted to know, was his name first? Why not "The Kirby & Sonny Show?"

Sonny said it was because it sounded better. Then he wondered why it wasn’t "The Super Sonny Show with guest host Kirby."

There followed an argument over creative differences, specifically the exact scope and nature of the injuries we proposed to do to each other. Our wives separated us.

Later, my wife asked what I would do if, by some miracle or curse, this reality show thing worked out? Good question. It’s a life thing. Very few people end up where they thought they were going.

It probably happens to a lot of creative/disturbed types. For example, when Carrie Underwood auditioned for "American Idol," did she think she’d end up a major singing star?