I was in church when I heard about Josh Powell killing himself and his kids. Someone passed a smartphone down the pew with the news on it.
Reactions to the monstrosity ranged from "Oh, dear!" to "I hope they find pieces of him big enough to shoot."
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The last one sounds a lot like something I might say, but I didn’t. When the phone got to me, my thought on the matter was "That &#@*! worthless *&$#@* little creep."
Because everyone sitting nearby flinched, it’s possible that I said it out loud. I’ll have to work on allowing myself to be so overcome by the spirit.
Still, it was great irony. Immediately thirsting for someone else’s blood is ample proof that more than half a century of church hasn’t had the desired effect. Maybe I should stay awake more.
Watching and hearing the reactions of my fellow parishioners was enlightening. Most expressed some over-the-top feelings toward the sort of man who would kill his own children.
People called down horrible judgment on Josh, a hope that he was "burning in hell," that he would "be cast into outer darkness" and that "special enforcer angels would apply electricity to his delicate parts for time and all eternity."
That last one was uttered straight from the pulpit by no less than my LDS bishop and neighbor, Geoff Short.
All right, I’m lying. But it’s a useful lie because it illustrates an important point, namely that people, even deeply spiritual types, have a hard time with forgiveness in the face of such evil.
Personally, I think it’s wrong to feel guilty about this. Mind you, I don’t, but people intent on going to heaven might. They need to cut themselves a break.
It’s not a sin to have immediate and normal human reactions to horrible things. Nobody normal could hear what happened to Charlie and Braden Powell without experiencing at least a moment of hatred for their father.
Revulsion and anger are part of being human. The sin part comes into play when you refuse to let it go, when you nurse it until it poisons your heart. Say, oh, anything longer than 10 years.
Most sins — pride, lust, sloth, wrath, etc. — are just like that. Under certain conditions, they’re natural (and even necessary) human emotions.
For example, none of us would be here right now if it weren’t for a long chain of human lust. So I’m guessing it’s OK for me to lust after my wife, but not someone else’s wife.
Ditto pride. I’m very proud of my grandchildren, to the point that everyone else’s grandchildren are, by comparison, trolls. I don’t think that’s a sin. It would be a sin if I were that proud of myself.
Wrath is a very handy "sin" under the right circumstances. I submit that it’s almost impossible to effectively fight for one’s life without a bit of wrath being involved.
It all comes down to how you manage sin. A little bit is OK. And I’m going to keep telling myself that right up until I die.
Robert Kirby can be reached at rkirby@sltrib.com or facebook.com/notpatbagley.
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