This is an archived article that was published on sltrib.com in 2011, and information in the article may be outdated. It is provided only for personal research purposes and may not be reprinted.

Utah made another national best/most/worst/least list.

Along with being the Happiest State in America (Gallup poll, 2009), and the state with the highest per capita use of antidepressants (Los Angeles Times, 2002), we were just named to the "Top Ten Most Dangerous Places to Drive" list.

Actually, it isn't the whole state, just Salt Lake City. Statistics from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration reveal that Salt Lake is the sixth most dangerous place to drive in America.

SLC has a traffic fatality rate of 16.51 per 100,000 population. Keep in mind that the result is based on 2009 figures, which leaves nearly two years in which we may have improved.

Yeah, I thought that was stupid, too.

We're not the most dangerous place. That's Fort Lauderdale, Fla., with a 22.39 fatality rate. Exactly why Fort Lauderdale is so dangerous can only be wildly guessed at by someone like me. Maybe it's because of the high percentage of elderly retirees driving there.

Arlington, Va., was the safest place to drive. It doesn't take a genius to figure this one out. Everyone knows Arlington is a cemetery and that most residents there are in fact already dead.

None of this would normally mean anything to me. I've been driving in Salt Lake City for more than 40 years. It doesn't seem that bad to me.

Salt Lake traffic certainly registered with my in-laws, though. They came to Utah from Canada for a family reunion last week. On Saturday, a favorite niece pulled into our driveway after traveling through two countries, four states and two time zones.

Keep in mind that we haven't seen [name withheld] in more than two years. She jumped out of the car, threw open her arms, and tearfully cried, "What the &#%@! is the matter with you people?"

The last 20 miles of her 900-mile trip had been through rush-hour traffic in Salt Lake City, a nightmarish journey that left her shaken.

Among the things my niece found most disturbing were Utah's suicidal tailgating, demolition derby lane changes and an utter indifference to speed limit signs.

When I suggested that her problem with our speed limits stemmed from Canada's perplexing metric system, she became hysterical.

"I had to go 200 kilometers an hour through construction zones just to keep from being run over by people talking on their cell phones," she cried. "You people are nuts."

As the rest of the family arrived, they enthusiastically supported my niece's view that Utah motorists should be pee tested daily. Here are the highlights:

• A brother-in-law said we use our turn signals so indiscriminately here that we might as well leave our emergency flashers on.

• A cousin insisted any Utah motorist selected at random could legitimately be charged with aggravated assault.

• A nephew suggested the Mormon factor was somehow behind it. With so many people already believing they're in line for a heavenly reward, what difference did it make to them how they drove?

They could be right. All I know is that Utah drivers don't bother me. Maybe it's because after 40 years, I'm so inured to bad driving that safe driving would probably scare me more.

Robert Kirby can be reached at rkirby@sltrib.com or facebook.com/notpatbagley.