This is an archived article that was published on sltrib.com in 2011, and information in the article may be outdated. It is provided only for personal research purposes and may not be reprinted.
Brianne Blanchard did many things before legally changing her name, sex and attire to live everyday life as a woman.
Growing up in Payson, Blanchard prayed every night to wake up a girl. Before serving six years in the U.S. Air Force, she told her LDS mission president in Japan that she may look the part of a man, but felt more comfortable as a woman.
What Blanchard rarely did as the parent of two children, ages 3 and 7, was socialize with other families with transgender parents or children. So when she heard about Utah Pride Center's Kids Like Me play group late last summer, her family was one of the first to sign up.
"The idea was so long overdue I even thought once about doing it myself," said Blanchard, a 31-year-old student living in Salt Lake City. "It's nice not to have to justify or explain yourself to people before you can participate in even mundane aspects of life, such as going to the grocery store or watching your children draw and color with other children. Every family wants that."
The Utah Pride Center, which held a Saturday open house for its new program, wants that as well. Research by Caitlin Ryan, a clinical researcher with the Family Acceptance Project in San Francisco, shows that even the youngest children with transgender leanings who receive fostering and support are eight times less likely to commit suicide and at least three times less likely to use illegal drugs as teenagers and adults.
"People have far more knowledge and even opinions about what gay and lesbian means," said Rose Ellen Epstein, transgender youth programs coordinator at the Utah Pride Center. "People who don't conform to gender, or who we like to call 'gender exceptional,' aren't as well understood. Children who learn they can't talk about it shut down very early. That's a difficult thing to ask of a child."
Epstein and Jesse Fluetsch, a volunteer with Kids Like Me, emphasize that the group's aim is not to direct children who question or challenge their gender into a prescribed category. Instead, the group for children up to age 10 aims to provide community for families that might otherwise feel confused or isolated.
"We're not trying to tell their children what their gender is," Fluetsch said. "We just want families not to feel alone."
Parents can become panicked to the point of being overprotective when a son insists on wearing dresses, or a daughter wants to wear short hair, Epstein said. Unlike the debate over gay rights centered around issues of marriage and employment, advocacy for transgender people, youth and children is still emerging.
Blanchard's two sons are comfortable being boys, but she wouldn't hesitate to offer advice to parents with children who question their gender at an early age.
"Just follow your child's lead as best as possible," she said. "Just because I'm trans at age 31 doesn't mean that every little boy who puts on a dress will follow through with it as an adult. I've never met two transgendered people who are exactly the same. We all like to be seen as the people we are, rather than the only person who's seen as something different."
Kids Like Me
P The group for children with transgender leanings and children with transgender caregivers meets at Utah Pride Center.
When • First Saturday of each month, 2 p.m. to 3:30 p.m.
Where • 361 N. 300 West, Salt Lake City, middle meeting room
Information • Call 801-539-8800, ext. 17, or visit http://www.utahpridecenter.org.