ISN'T THE COVER OF US WEEKLY ENOUGH?
Kanye West had many righteous things to rage about this year, from the fashion industry not giving him credit for brilliant, life-changing designs like leather jogging pants, to not getting respect from President Obama. But nothing seemed to upset him more than Vogue's apparent refusal to put his baby mama, Kim Kardashian, on the magazine cover. He likened her to this generation's Marilyn Monroe, called her the most beautiful woman on the planet and scoffed that two-time Vogue cover girl Michelle Obama couldn't Instagram a selfie of her nearly bare backside like Kim and cause the stir that Kardashian did. We see a rant about an IRS audit coming in 2015.
AT LEAST HE GOT OUT OF THE KARDASHIAN CHRISTMAS CARD
Khloe Kardashian called it quits with troubled basketball star Lamar Odom after four years of marriage and months of endless tabloid headlines juicier than anything we'd seen in their reality show. The last straw for Kardashian allegedly came after video surfaced of a shirtless Odom and a male friend rapping semi-incoherently about smoking weed and scoring with lots of women. It doomed their marriage, but is a pretty good pilot for another Odom TV show.
CAN WE STOP NOW. PLEASE?
This year felt as if Miley Cyrus plowed into our consciousness with a concrete wrecking ball — oh wait, that really did happen. From her twerk-athon at awards shows to her nearly nude poses to that now-infamous tongue, we saw too many different sides (not to mention the backside) of the former teen queen. Please tell us that it was all a dream — and that Billy Ray is going to pop out and explain to Hannah Montana what can happen when you eat brownies but you don't know who baked them.
WE STOPPED BIEBLIEVING A WHILE AGO
What happened to our favorite teen moppet? Over the past year, Justin Bieber went on a world tour of mayhem, from speeding in the streets of Los Angeles to suggestions of smoking weed to spraying illegal graffiti in Colombia to stepping on the Argentinian flag (he said he meant no offense). We expected more from a young Canadian lad. Let's hope Toronto mayor Rob Ford hasn't become his new role model.
IS THAT WHY HER RECIPES CALL FOR WHITE SUGAR?
Paula Deen let fly a career-ender when, during a deposition in a racial discrimination case, she admitted to using the N-word and described the vision she had of using all-black waiters to serve in a mock plantation scenario. Deen fell on her butter knife during a tearful, defiant interview with Matt Lauer on the "Today" show, but her empire crumbled, with everyone from Walmart to the Food Network dropping her like a hot cinnamon roll. Perhaps she can find a new gig catering holiday meals for the "Duck Dynasty" clan.
WE'RE CRINGING ON PURPOSE
Brad Paisley and LL Cool J's "Accidental Racist," designed to be an ode to racial understanding, united people of all colors: We recoiled together after hearing lines like "If you don't judge my do-rag/I won't judge your red flag" and perhaps the topper, "If you don't judge my gold chains/I'll forget the iron chains." Paisley said he'd only wanted to try and have an honest conversation about race relations (and vowed never to have Deen write his lyrics again).
PAYING TRIBUTE, AL JOLSON STYLE
Julianne Hough's decision to don blackface for Halloween to portray her favorite character from the Netflix show "Orange Is the New Black" sparked an uproar and drew an eventual apology from the actress, who said she never intended to hurt anyone (and that's the last time she'll let Deen come up with her costume).
TALK ABOUT WATCHING YOUR MOUTH