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A lot of my political feelings are shaped by, or a reaction to, people overseas. Everyone in England asks, "What the hell is up with you people and your goddamned guns!?" I just tell them that in America you need a semi-automatic weapon. You need it to shoot your television. Have you ever gone on YouTube to see that? There’s clip after clip of people either shooting their television or their toilet in an open field. It’s like a genocide of appliances by people acting like they’re 12-year-olds with semi-automatic weapons. What do people need those weapons for? Well, that’s what they need those weapons for. It’s this destructive fear that, if you don’t shoot your television, it will come back to life and hurt someone else.
Where do you believe the future of humor resides?
When » Sunday, April 28, 7 p.m.
Where » Capitol Theatre, 50 W. 200 South, Salt Lake City.
Tickets » $25-$52.50. Call 801-355-ARTS or visit www.arttix.org for more information.
That’s actually a really good question, because every day people become more sensitive. … E-mail has also changed everything. It’s allowed people to complain about their seat being hard, or not enough ice in their drink.
You’re now 56 years old. Is it easier, or harder, to write as you grow older?
I think I’m a better writer as I get older. The stories in this book are better than the ones I wrote 15-20 years ago. It hasn’t gotten harder, but sometimes I wish I could go back and rewrite things I wrote 10 or 15 years ago. I’d rewrite the story about all the nervous tics I had as a kid ["A Plague of Ticks" in Naked]. I’d shorten that. I’d rewrite the title story in Me Talk Pretty One Day. My French teacher did all sorts of terrible things, like stabbing a Korean-American student in the eye with a pencil and telling her to wake up and go back to Seoul. But what I didn’t mention was that most of us really liked her, but it would have been a much more difficult story to write, but also much better.
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