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Means: Taking advantage of the ‘Maya Apocalypse’

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• Charlie Sheen.

• Howard Stern.

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• Kanye West.

• Simon Cowell. (It’s time.)

• Whitney Cummings.

• Unpaid grammar Nazis. (Paid grammar Nazis, some of whom I call my friends and colleagues, are the backbone of civilization and will be allowed to stay.)

• The airline executive who came up with the idea of charging $3.99 to watch TV on a 90-minute flight.

• The retail executive who devised the plan to start the Black Friday sales on Thanksgiving evening.

• College football marketing experts who persuade teams to dress all in black.

• Spammers.

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• Anyone who is mean to small animals or children.

• Anyone who, upon seeing a tragedy on the news, strives to be the first one on Twitter to make a tasteless joke about that tragedy.

• Columnists who throw together a lame list just before deadline. (Oh, wait. …)

Who’s on your list for the maiden voyage of Starship Trump? Email me with your nominees, or leave them in the comments below.

Sean P. Meanswrites The Cricket in daily blog form at www.sltrib.com/blogs/moviecricket. Follow him on Twitter @moviecricket, or on Facebook at www.facebook.com/seanpmeans. Email him at spmeans@sltrib.com.

Copyright 2014 The Salt Lake Tribune. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

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