At this time of year when we’re shopping for family and friends, how about a few gifts for a friend the average American spends 28 hours a week with — our televisions.
If I had an unlimited budget, here’s what I’d get a few of our TV pals.
Writers of "Nashville" • A sense of humor.
Writers of "Scandal" • Less unintentional humor.
Writers of "Hawaii Five-O" • Season 1 of the show on DVD, to remind them it used to be better.
KSL management • The realization that I’m not making up those lousy ratings numbers, I’m just reporting them.
KTVX and KUCW • Enough pre-emptions so no Real Salt Lake games are tape-delayed.
The Pac-12 Network • A deal with DirecTV. (Duh!)
"The Simpsons" • A graceful exit. It’s time for this show to retire. (D’oh!)
"How I Met Your Mother" • The identity of the mother. And a graceful exit.
"Smash" • More singing, less ridiculous melodrama.
"Glee" • A bullet.
"Don’t Trust the B---- In Apt. 23 • Viewers.
Syfy Channel • A series set in outer space. To fit your alleged science-fiction theme.
"Project Runway" • A little respect.
"The Good Wife" • A lot of respect.
"The Bachelor/Bachelorette" • An Emmy nomination — for best scripted comedy.
PBS • Adequate funding to keep this national treasure up and running.
Big Bird • An exemption from ever being used in a political campaign again. By either side.
BYU and Utah football • Now that the Utes and Cougars are more readily available on TV, games that are worth watching.
"Downton Abbey" • It doesn’t really need anything. Unless Dan Stevens (who plays Matthew) really isn’t going to return for Season 4.Next Page >
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