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Jell-O haiku contest: Invasion of gelatinous gems from readers

Published November 26, 2012 10:14 am

The point of Tribune's 6-year-old contest? Don't take the wiggly stuff too seriously.
This is an archived article that was published on sltrib.com in 2012, and information in the article may be outdated. It is provided only for personal research purposes and may not be reprinted.

Utahns have always made a place for Jell-O on the Thanksgiving table, right next to the turkey, stuffing and mashed potatoes.

But this year molded gelatin practically took over the city — or a least our entry box — as some 800 poems were submitted in The Salt Lake Tribune's annual Jell-O haiku contest.

Most of these funny, three-lined poems came from Utah residents, but we did get a batch from a 9th grade honors English class at Florida Atlantic University High School, in Boca Raton. Students had been studying Chinese poetry when teacher Debbi Rosenblum happened to find our contest online and made it an assignment.

"I thought it would be a lot more fun than writing a traditional haiku," she wrote in an email.

And that's the point of this 6-year-old contest — don't take Jell-O too seriously.

Of course, the only way to properly handle so many gelatinous gems was to bring in the experts from the Utah State Poetry Society, who judged the poems for proper style and creativity.

Here are their first, second and third place winners in the adult and student categories, as well as some honorable mentions to enjoy along with your pumpkin pie.

ADULT WINNERS

1st

Coo chi coo Haiku,

Jell-O — please me — make me drool,

All I want is you.

— Joy Hall

2nd

You slide down my throat,

Jiggly friend to my tummy.

My joy is complete.

— Charles Bell

3rd

Sweet melting powder

rich fruity fume I breathe deep

cold raw roots encased

— Kymberly Siebenhaar

SECONDARY WINNERS

(7th - 12th grade)

1st

Pet horse recycled

That's how I pay for college

Please don't tell mommy

— Hannah Bishop

2nd

The vegans will cry.

Tonight Seabiscut will die.

Now he is Jell-O

— Arthur Etmekdjian

3rd

Masticating is

an optional endeavor

before swallowing

— Alex Merrill

ELEMENTARY WINNERS

(kindergarten-6th grade

1st

House made of Jell-O

When I'm grounded and hungry

I just eat a wall

— Griff Riggs

2nd

Red and blue Jell-O

Democrat, Republican

Stands for our nation

— Carly Herr

3rd

Explosion of taste

Vast oasis of Jell-O

Earthquake in a bowl

— Kira Sincock

Adult Honorable Mentions:

The jell swells greenly

Flowing over plastic rim

Sweet nectar of hooves

— Nori Huntsman

Static, shuddering

clear collagen cube, with grapes,

Yes... there's always room.

— Todd Seymour

Limes frozen in time,

cherries suspended in sludge —

fruit apocalypse

— Krista Clement

Secondary Honorable Mentions

These old bones gone by

Sea Biscuit is dead for this?!

Why oh why Jell-O

— Caleb Lopes

Your deliciousness

The cause of your own demise

Be careful jello

— Silken Lee

Elementary Honorable Mentions

Corrupting but fine

Jell-O is like politics

Yet never perfect

— Louisa Keating

Jell-O explosion

Jell-O up and down the walls

making mommy mad.

— Sarah Morgan

Jell-O hurricane

Splattering on my window

Jell-O day, no school!

— Samantha Macuga

Swaying back and forth

Jell-O is a bobble-head

It makes me crazy

— Max Mobley

Thanksgiving dinner

When we all come together

Please don't have Jell-O

— Gavin Kraft

In the microwave

the Jell-O begins to melt

colors slowly blend

— Victoria Flinders