Quantcast
Get breaking news alerts via email

Click here to manage your alerts
The Cricket
Sean P. Means
Sean is the movie critic and columnist for The Salt Lake Tribune. Follow him on Twitter @moviecricket.

» E-mail

» Subscribe (RSS)




"Pain & Gain" ï Bodybuilders - played by Dwayne Johnson, Mark Wahlberg and Anthony Mackie (from left) - get involved in crime in Michael Bay's comedy-drama.
The Cricket picks the worst movies of 2013

Critics list the top 10 movies of the year (as The Cricket did in today’s Tribune) because it’s fun to remember back to the great work they have seen, and relive those magic moments they witnessed on the screen.

Compiling a list of the worst movies of the year is really an act of masochism, dredging up those horrors that we have worked to forget or suppress. The exercise can be cathartic, though, and good for a laugh.

Join the Discussion
Post a Comment

That said, here is The Cricket’s list of the 10 worst movies of 2013:

1. "Grown Ups 2" » Adam Sandler says he doesn’t make movies for critics. It’s clear he doesn’t make movies for audiences, either. He just makes movies like this plotless, jokeless mess to make himself look like the coolest guy among his comedian friends, and to flaunt his wealth and Hollywood influence.

2. "Pain & Gain" » Michael Bay tries to make a comedy, milking laughs out of a real-life crime scenario (which, in real life, included people dying) and pummelling the audience with cinematic overkill.

3. "The Hangover Part III" » Remember when we complained that "The Hangover Part II" was just a copy of the first movie? Big mistake — because being nothing like the first movie was a bad move, too.

4. "All the Boys Love Mandy Lane" » This teens-have-sex-then-die horror movie has been sitting on the shelf since 2006. Now we know why.

5. "Grudge Match" » This wheezing comedy brings together Sylvester Stallone and Robert De Niro to spit on their greatest achievements (respectively, "Rocky" and "Raging Bull").

6. "Getaway" » Ethan Hawke and Selena Gomez, a screen pairing eagerly anticipated by nobody, muddle through an idiotic chase thriller that gives all the good lines to the car.

7. "After Earth" » An action movie in which Will Smith doesn’t move, his son Jaden can’t act, and M. Night Shyamalan can’t find a pulse.

8. "R.I.P.D." » The premise of this cops patroling the afterlife was moderately promising — back in the ‘90s, when it was called "Men in Black."

9. "Diana" » Despite Naomi Watts’ empathetic performance as the former Princess of Wales, this heavy-handed movie turns Diana’s life into the dimmest soap opera.

10. "Paranoia" » Not even the scenery-chewing battle between Harrison Ford and Gary Oldman could resuscitate this brain-dead corporate thriller or transfer any charisma to star Liam Hemsworth.



Copyright 2014 The Salt Lake Tribune. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

Top Reader Comments Read All Comments Post a Comment
Click here to read all comments   Click here to post a comment


About Reader Comments


Reader comments on sltrib.com are the opinions of the writer, not The Salt Lake Tribune. We will delete comments containing obscenities, personal attacks and inappropriate or offensive remarks. Flagrant or repeat violators will be banned. If you see an objectionable comment, please alert us by clicking the arrow on the upper right side of the comment and selecting "Flag comment as inappropriate". If you've recently registered with Disqus or aren't seeing your comments immediately, you may need to verify your email address. To do so, visit disqus.com/account.
See more about comments here.
 
Jobs
  • Search Obituaries
  • Place an Obituary

  • Search Cars
  • Search Homes
  • Search Jobs
  • Search Marketplace
  • Search Legal Notices

  • Other Services
  • Advertise With Us
  • Subscribe to the Newspaper
  • Login to the Electronic Edition
  • Frequently Asked Questions
  • Contact a newsroom staff member
  • Access the Trib Archives
  • Privacy Policy
  • Missing your paper? Need to place your paper on vacation hold? For this and any other subscription related needs, click here or call 801.204.6100.