In Friday’s edition of The Salt Lake Tribune, The Cricket made a modest proposal to take advantage of this week’s imminent "Maya Apocalypse" — and the hysteria surrounding the pseudo-event — to convince some of our society’s less-bright bulbs to hop on a spaceship and leave the planet behind for the rest of us.

The Cricket further suggested a list of candidates to hop onto "Starship Trump" (named in honor of, it is hoped, the ship’s first occupant) — and asked for readers to add their nominees to the list, either through email or by commenting on the Tribune website. (This second venue, naturally, devolved into arguments over politics — and parsing whether the Maya ever predicted the apocalypse or not).

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Here are some of the people readers have proposed:

• Orrin Hatch

• Bill Maher

• Gayle Ruzicka

• The Kardashians

• "the people responsible for those gross anti-smoking commercials."

• "the people responsible for those long, heart-wrenching ‘save homeless pets’ ads — including Sarah MacLachlan.

• TSA agents

• All TV weathermen

• Gary Herbert

• Salt Lake City’s city council

• Harry Reid

• Ted Nugent

• Rev. Al Sharpton

• Hank Williams Jr.

• Rev. Jesse Jackson

• John Boehner

• Nancy Pelosi

• Toby Keith

• ACLU lawyers

• Ann Coulter

• Rush Limbaugh

• Chris Matthews of MSNBC

• Bill O’Reilly

• John Edwards

• "people who still blame Bush for all their problems"

• Tribune writers