In Friday’s edition of The Salt Lake Tribune, The Cricket made a modest proposal to take advantage of this week’s imminent "Maya Apocalypse" — and the hysteria surrounding the pseudo-event — to convince some of our society’s less-bright bulbs to hop on a spaceship and leave the planet behind for the rest of us.
The Cricket further suggested a list of candidates to hop onto "Starship Trump" (named in honor of, it is hoped, the ship’s first occupant) — and asked for readers to add their nominees to the list, either through email or by commenting on the Tribune website. (This second venue, naturally, devolved into arguments over politics — and parsing whether the Maya ever predicted the apocalypse or not).
Here are some of the people readers have proposed:
• Orrin Hatch
• Bill Maher
• Gayle Ruzicka
• The Kardashians
• "the people responsible for those gross anti-smoking commercials."
• "the people responsible for those long, heart-wrenching ‘save homeless pets’ ads — including Sarah MacLachlan.
• TSA agents
• All TV weathermen
• Gary Herbert
• Salt Lake City’s city council
• Harry Reid
• Ted Nugent
• Rev. Al Sharpton
• Hank Williams Jr.
• Rev. Jesse Jackson
• John Boehner
• Nancy Pelosi
• Toby Keith
• ACLU lawyers
• Ann Coulter
• Rush Limbaugh
• Chris Matthews of MSNBC
• Bill O’Reilly
• John Edwards
• "people who still blame Bush for all their problems"
• Tribune writers
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