This is an archived article that was published on sltrib.com in 2014, and information in the article may be outdated. It is provided only for personal research purposes and may not be reprinted.
Earlier this morning, a wonderfully amusing Associated Press story hit the wire: "Massachusetts home intruder turns out to be a duck."
Here is the story in its swift and sweet entirety. Mind you, we are going to improve on this already fun bit of journalism afterward.
North Reading, Mass. • Police in Massachusetts responding to reports of an intruder in a woman's home quickly quacked the case.
A North Reading woman called police Saturday from her upstairs bedroom to report that she heard loud banging noises downstairs and feared someone had broken into her home.
Officers who responded found no sign of a break-in. But during a quick search of the home, police found a soot-covered wood duck.
Police say it appears the duck got in through the chimney. An officer caught the duck and released it into a nearby pond.
* * *
Now, the file in our system does not include the reporter's name, but whoever he or she is deserves a bonus for that lead. As a fellow reporter pointed out, there should be more duck-related humor in the news.
I agree.
There are so many more opportunities in this copy for duck puns. Here, I have taken this AP reporter's ball and run with it. You're welcome, America.
North Reading, Mass • Police in Massachusetts responding to reports of an intruder in a woman's home quickly quacked the case.
A North Reading woman called police Saturday from her upstairs bedroom to report that she heard loud banging noises downstairs and feared someone had broken into her home, running afowl of the law.
Officers who responded found no sign of a break-in. The police had come looking for a burglar, but what they found didn't quite fit the bill.
When the cops took a quick gander around the home, pecking around, they eventually found a soot-covered wood duck.
Police say it appears the duck got in through the chimney. An officer caught the duck and released it into a nearby pond.
— Michael McFall
Twitter: @mikeypanda