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Rap Sheet: The crimes committed in Doctor Who, part 1

Published November 12, 2013 10:59 am

This is an archived article that was published on sltrib.com in 2013, and information in the article may be outdated. It is provided only for personal research purposes and may not be reprinted.

Disclaimer: The should not be taken as any form of legal counsel or guidance; there may be errors in interpretation of the law and there may be crimes and violations missing from this list. I am not an officer or an attorney; I am a movie fan with a blog.

"Fear me. I've killed hundreds of Time Lords."

"Fear me. I've killed them all."

There's no question that The Doctor is a dangerous man — but just how dangerous? Here at The Salt Lake Tribune's crime blog, I tally the crimes characters commit and evaluate what potential sentence they could serve for them. In the lead up to the Doctor Who 50th Anniversary, I'm taking on the oncoming storm himself. He may be a savior, but he has plenty of blood on his hands, too.

Since I do not reasonably have the time or resources to review the Time Lord's decades-long continuity to see how many crimes he committed, I've narrowed the focus of this blog to Matt Smith's Eleventh Doctor.

The Eleventh Hour

Two counts of criminal mischief • The Doctor lands the TARDIS on top of a shed and destroys it, then flings one of Amy Pond's aunt's plates out of the house, breaking it, too.

Criminal trespass • The Doctor breaks into adult Pond's house.

Theft of a vehicle • The Doctor "commandeers" a fire engine.

Theft • The Doctor steals clothes from the hospital to create his new ensemble, complete with (cool) bow tie.

Victory of the Daleks

Terroristic threat • The Doctor threatens to blow up the Dalek ship.

The Time of Angels

Theft • The Doctor steals the inscribed homebox from the museum.

Criminal mischief • The Doctor shoots and destroys the gravity globe.

The Big Bang

Two counts of theft • The Doctor takes a mop and a fez from the National Museum with him to Stonehenge.

A Christmas Carol

Two counts of criminal trespass • The Doctor breaks into Kazran's house through the chimney, then breaks in again (or, earlier) by coming in through a younger Kazran's window.

Child kidnapping • The Doctor takes young Kazran with him to the future, without the consent of the boy's father.

The Impossible Astronaut

Obstruction of justice • The Doctor helps River Song, who has fled from official custody in Stormcage Prison.

Criminal trespass • The Doctor breaks into the Oval Office of The White House.

A Good Man Goes to War

An unknown amount of (at least) conspiracy to commit homicide • The Doctor (if not first-handed, then conspired to) blow up several Cybermen ships, killing all the Cybermen onboard.

Criminal trespass • The Doctor sneaks into the Demon's Run asteroid base.

Where's the rest? In typical fashion for the series, this analysis is broken up into two parts. This week, I tackle Smith's first season, and the first half of his second. Come back next Monday for the rest of The Eleventh Doctor's crimes and the potential sentence he would face for them.

— Michael McFall