Disclaimer: The should not be taken as any form of legal counsel or guidance; there may be errors in interpretation of the law and there may be crimes and violations missing from this list. I am not an officer or an attorney; I am a movie fan with a blog.
"Fear me. I’ve killed hundreds of Time Lords."
"Fear me. I’ve killed them all."
There’s no question that The Doctor is a dangerous man — but just how dangerous? Here at The Salt Lake Tribune’s crime blog, I tally the crimes characters commit and evaluate what potential sentence they could serve for them. In the lead up to the Doctor Who 50th Anniversary, I’m taking on the oncoming storm himself. He may be a savior, but he has plenty of blood on his hands, too.
Since I do not reasonably have the time or resources to review the Time Lord’s decades-long continuity to see how many crimes he committed, I’ve narrowed the focus of this blog to Matt Smith’s Eleventh Doctor.
The Eleventh Hour
Two counts of criminal mischief » The Doctor lands the TARDIS on top of a shed and destroys it, then flings one of Amy Pond’s aunt’s plates out of the house, breaking it, too.
Criminal trespass » The Doctor breaks into adult Pond’s house.
Theft of a vehicle » The Doctor "commandeers" a fire engine.
Theft » The Doctor steals clothes from the hospital to create his new ensemble, complete with (cool) bow tie.
Victory of the Daleks
Terroristic threat » The Doctor threatens to blow up the Dalek ship.
The Time of Angels
Theft » The Doctor steals the inscribed homebox from the museum.
Criminal mischief » The Doctor shoots and destroys the gravity globe.
The Big Bang
Two counts of theft » The Doctor takes a mop and a fez from the National Museum with him to Stonehenge.
A Christmas Carol
Two counts of criminal trespass » The Doctor breaks into Kazran’s house through the chimney, then breaks in again (or, earlier) by coming in through a younger Kazran’s window.
Child kidnapping » The Doctor takes young Kazran with him to the future, without the consent of the boy’s father.
The Impossible Astronaut
Obstruction of justice » The Doctor helps River Song, who has fled from official custody in Stormcage Prison.
Criminal trespass » The Doctor breaks into the Oval Office of The White House.
A Good Man Goes to War
An unknown amount of (at least) conspiracy to commit homicide » The Doctor (if not first-handed, then conspired to) blow up several Cybermen ships, killing all the Cybermen onboard.
Criminal trespass » The Doctor sneaks into the Demon’s Run asteroid base.
Where’s the rest? In typical fashion for the series, this analysis is broken up into two parts. This week, I tackle Smith’s first season, and the first half of his second. Come back next Monday for the rest of The Eleventh Doctor’s crimes and the potential sentence he would face for them.
— Michael McFall
|1.||Washington Insight: The Sagebrush Rebellion lives on with Bundy dispute|
|2.||Western lawmakers gather in Utah to talk federal land takeover|
|3.||Magnitude 3.2 earthquake jolts western Utah, USGS says|
|4.||Hallelujah! Mormon Tabernacle Choir celebrates Easter with a powerful ‘Messiah’|
|5.||Why all the hate for Salt Lake City’s new federal courthouse?|
|6.||APNewsBreak: Africa land grabs endanger elephants|
|7.||Utah same-sex marriage case could be thrown out on a technicality|
|8.||Salt Lake Comic Con FanX: In ‘cosplay,’ everybody can be anybody|
|9.||Utah Jazz: Coach Tyrone Corbin set for meeting with general manager|
|10.||Provo police investigating two discovered skeletons|