Rap Sheet: The demon's illegal 'Paranormal Activity'
Disclaimer: The should not be taken as any form of legal counsel or guidance; there may be errors in interpretation of the law and there may be crimes and violations missing from this list. I am not an officer or an attorney; I am a movie fan with a blog.
Several families feel the wrath of an ancient demon in the "Paranormal Activity" movies who spoiler alert never gets any comeuppance. There are no hero exorcists such as Constantine to fight back against it. Movie after movie, it breaks their stuff, takes their kids and snaps their necks.
How many crimes is that demon getting away with? And if you could arrest and try a demon, how much time could we lock it away before it gets out to haunt again? I sat down and sat through the whole series in its chronological order to count. Let's take this demon to task:
"Paranormal Activity 3"
Criminal trespass • The demon enters Julie Featherston's home.
Unlawful detention • It traps a screaming Katie inside the bedroom closet.
Criminal mischief • It breaks the overhead lamp by the front door.
Assault • The demon scratches Randy with its claw.
Assault • The demon grabs Katie Featherston by her hair.
Assault • It also throws Katie around the room.
Unlawful detention • The demon traps Katie in the closet again.
Criminal mischief • The demon damages or destroys everything in the kitchen.
Criminal trespass • The demon enters the home of Julie Featherston's mother.
Two counts of murder • The demon kills Julie Featherston and her boyfriend Dennis.
Two counts of child kidnapping • The demon takes Katie and Kristi Featherston.
"Paranormal Activity 2"
Criminal trespass • The demon enters Daniel and Kristi Rey's home.
Criminal mischief • The demon trashes almost every room of their house.
Attempted child kidnapping • The demon tries to take Hunter Rey while the parents are gone.
Kidnapping • The demon drags Kristi Rey into the basement.
Assault • The demon bites Kristi Rey's leg.
Assault • The demon, through a possessed Kristi Rey, attacks Daniel Rey.
Criminal mischief • Breaks things around the house.
Two counts of murder • The demon, through a possessed Katie Featherston, kills Daniel and Kristi Rey.
Child kidnapping • Katie Featherston, possessed, takes Hunter.
Criminal trespassing • The demon enters Micah Sloat's house.
Arson • The demon sets the Ouija board on fire. This would be aggravated, but I'm not sure if "evil" counts as an accelerant.
Criminal mischief • It breaks a picture frame and tears the photo inside.
Assault • The demon pulls Katie Featherston down the hallway.
Murder • The demon kills Sloat through the possessed Katie Featherston.
"Paranormal Activity 4"
Criminal trespass • The demon enters the Nelson home.
Criminal mischief • The demon breaks one of the Nelsons' chandeliers.
Attempted murder • The demon tries to drown Wyatt Nelson in the bathtub.
Unlawful detention • It locks Alex Nelson inside the garage.
Attempted murder • The demon turns on the car to kill Alex with the exhaust.
Attempted child kidnapping • The demon tries to take Wyatt.
Two counts of murder • The demon kills Holly Nelson and Ben.
Two counts of abuse or desecration of a human body • The demon moves their bodies and hides them.
Two counts of assault • The demon attacks Alex and her father.
Murder • The demon, through the possessed Katie Featherston, kills Alex.
For its 41 crimes, the demon could face fines of up to $188,000 and serve a maximum sentence of 88.5 years, plus 11 life sentences. That is, whatever "life" means for an evil spirit.
Although if you want to get real technical about this, the statute of limitations on many of these crimes may have run out by the end of the fourth movie, which takes place in 2011 about five years after the events of "Paranormal Activity" and "Paranormal Activity 2" and about 23 years after "Paranormal Activity 3."
But the demon, like the mob, is never shy of giving law enforcement second chances. It's back to slam some doors and add to its body count in the upcoming spin-off "Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones," due in theaters next year.