Geoff was driving home through heavy snow Saturday night when he spotted a sport utility vehicle parked on the highway near 9000 South. A helpful guy when not annoying the heck out of me, he pulled over.
The SUV's driver was a woman in near panic. "I'm from Texas," she said, gesturing at the snow-covered road. "I don't know what I'm doing in all of this."
Stopped in the middle of a snowy road isn't a good place to figure it out. But this time there was a happy ending. Geoff drove the SUV and took the woman safely to her home while his wife followed in their car.
The unidentified woman should not be embarrassed about this. She's probably from a part of Texas where it doesn't snow. Most Utahns wouldn't know how to drive in a tornado or a hurricane.
Shoot, most Utahns don't know how to drive in snow either. Even though we get piles of the stuff every year, the season's first storm starts a slow relearning curve. Ask any cop.
Back when I was one, I was investigating a winter accident when another car came down the overpass sideways. I still remember the eyes of the horrified woman behind the wheel as she slid into me.
Fortunately, she wasn't traveling very fast. The impact only knocked the pens, spare change and extra ammunition out of me and sent me skittering down the rest of the overpass like a backstroking turtle.
While I lay in the road and collected my thoughts, the driver cranked down her window and wailed a hope that I wasn't all the way dead.
This, as it turned out, came from a woman with lots of experience driving in Utah during the winter. The first one just caught her by surprise. Me, too.
Today, I'm a winter driving idiot just like the rest of you. Before our insurance companies cancel us - or we cancel out each other - let's go over the rules of the slippery road.
Actually, there's only one winter driving rule. Slow down. Anything else - proper braking, steering and visibility - is all based on how fast you're traveling when you get into trouble.
For example, if you're motoring along an icy road and your car suddenly starts swapping ends, odds are that you were going too fast, even if it was only 10 mph. By law, it's permissible to drive only as fast as you can do so safely.
So, if the surface of the road is something that would make Tonya Harding think twice, it ought to at least make you think once. The posted speed limit may be 65 mph, but the law says common sense is supposed to kick in when the weather takes over.
If you don't believe me, look it up. Or you can just skid your car under a semi and then, depending on which one shows up first to pull you out of it, ask God or a UHP trooper.
Winter is just getting started. If you expect to see spring, it's time to start thinking a little faster than you drive.
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Contact Robert Kirby at rkirby@sltrib.com or 801-257-8719. Send comments on this column to livingeditor@sltrib.com.


