I am the white mother of black children. I am also the mother of Asian children, Hispanic children and caucasian children. Racism has touched our lives just as surely as immigration has.
Over three decades of parenting, my husband and I have tried to be “intentional parents.” We have deliberately focused on teaching our children the value of hard work, of being responsible and accountable for their actions and their life. We are trying to teach them to shun the idea of “entitlement,” whether real or imagined, that might come from their skin color, gender or socio-economic status and to not expect life to be fair. It’s not.
We have also learned over the years that while love may be blind, the world’s eyeballs are not. Now that my black sons are adults, racist attitudes and comments are more open. More flagrant. And yes, I’ve had “the talk” with my black sons — the talk about not getting shot by police.
One of my sons is a senior at a Utah university and is putting himself through school with an almost full-time job. He’s a good kid in his mid-20’s. A couple of months ago, he was driving through town and was pulled over for a tail light being out. The first question out of the police officer’s mouth was “Did you steal this car?” “No sir,” my son answered. The next question was “Is there a warrant out for your arrest?” Again, “No sir.” Excuse me? My husband and I don’t get those kinds of questions. My white children don’t get those kinds of questions. He shouldn’t either - but he does.
My black children have been called the “N-word” by church-goers and we’ve heard Sunday School lessons that proclaim them cursed and “less righteous” because they were not “blessed” to be born in the United States. Eyeroll. The twisting some people do to justify hate and hateful attitudes is mind-boggling.
I was pleased to see The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints post a condemnation of white supremacy — and then when it was twisted to mean exactly the opposite, they posted an even more pointed rebuke. “It has been called to our attention that there are some among the various pro-white and white supremacy communities who assert that the Church is neutral toward or in support of their views. Nothing could be further from the truth,” they said.
In case there was any question, they further clarified: “White supremacist attitudes are morally wrong and sinful, and we condemn them. Church members who promote or pursue a “white culture” or white supremacy agenda are not in harmony with the teachings of the Church.” Amen.
Talking about race is hard. I get it. Talking about racism is even harder, especially when you don’t think it exists, or that’s it’s extremely limited and isolated. (It’s not.)
Here’s a place to start: Nazism is bad. White supremacy is bad. Anti-semitism is bad. Slavery is bad. They have no place in our world today.
If you have ever wondered what you would do in Germany in the 1930’s, well, now is your chance to do it. I’ve seen people saying the best thing to do is just ignore white supremacists and they’ll “go away.” I strongly disagree. Standing idly by, pretending racism doesn’t exist or actively ignoring hate you are not the target of allows hate to fester and grow, unchecked.
Something has to change and it must begin with us. There is no Captain America and his team of Avengers waiting to swoop in and save us from bigotry. There is no magical “someone else” who is responsible for defeating racism. This one sits squarely in our laps.
There are many things we can do and perhaps that’s the point. We must actually DO something. Boyd Matheson, president of Sutherland Institute said at the Rally for Unity on Monday evening: “At times such as this we often quote great leaders like Lincoln and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. We need to stop just talking about them, and start acting like them.” Let’s get going.
Holly Richardson is a mom who wants to see the fulfillment of Dr. King’s dream and live in a world where her children - and yours - are judged by the content of their character and not the color of their skin.