Thomas Monson wants me back ("LDS Church President Monson urges disenfranchised to return to the fold," Tribune, April 6). I am gay. As a Mormon, I was taught to hate myself; I repeatedly flirted with killing myself. Imagine that pain, and then ask whether my coming back is going to be on your terms or mine. I have serious issues; here are some things that first need to change:

1. Honesty needs to be your policy. For example, depict Joseph Smith translating the Book of Mormon with his face in an upturned hat, staring at a magical peep stone.

2. Stop using the family as a weapon. My mother is brokenhearted that I will not be part of her eternal family. It is wonderful to believe "families are forever"; it's despicable to use that to extract obedience.

3. Treat women equally. Many Mormon women feel second-class. Who can blame them? They are always subservient to men.

4. Renounce racism. Repudiate teachings that blacks were less valiant in the pre-mortal life and are descendents of the murderous, marked Cain.

5. Love me for who I am - not for who you think I should be. Stop the teaching that I have a problem that needs to be fixed. Stop using religion to excuse poor behavior.

If you really need me, now you know how to find me.

Steve Ellingson

West Valley City