Oh, we have the "wait" piece of the equation; it's just that there is no "hurry-upping" involved. We wait for just about everything: meals, appointments and the bus. We also wait with great patience and understanding for those who must use walkers just to get where they need or want to be.
For a newcomer at a retirement community, there is much to learn. Not only are there rules, scheduled activities and an entire life change, but there are also hundreds of new faces and names. This becomes particularly difficult when the faces you "see" are really just fuzzy blanks on the fronts of heads, many of which are amazingly similar, framed with halos of white hair in unvaried styles. One learns to recognize some by body size and/or shape. Voice quality can help unless hearing loss is also a factor.
Of course there are varying stages of senioritis, and we all share a dread of being bereft of our memories. Some very warm friendships are formed and some avoided because of personality clashes, or more likely the fear that a dear friend will depart, leaving one again lonely and alone.
These are not really dark thoughts that haunt and torment, just a realization that our lives have changed, will never be the same and may very possibly lose some of the quality that now exists. So, we "accentuate the positive" and do our best to "eliminate the negative," just like that old song.
There really are some interesting life stories. One gentleman tells about growing up in Germany just prior to the Nazi regime. One woman escaped from that same insanity as a child only to be left orphaned and on her own with a very hard life.
Another woman was a purchasing agent for a large clothing chain and tells of being in China just after it opened to outsiders, and traveling all over, mostly alone, with no understanding of the language, just enough trust in her fellow man to wing it. One very sharp 91-year-old gentleman was governor of the state in the '60s and early '70s.
There are different levels of dependence and independence in this community. In the "assisted living" section lives a former violinist with the Utah symphony. Another man who served as a chaplain in Vietnam has written and had published a book about his experiences.
Some residents in the "independent living" section who still drive and have their cars with them do not have to rely on the bus, but for those who, for whatever reason, are not so lucky, bus trips are wonderful. The more ambulant among us can walk to nearby stores. There are city buses close by, and, of course, taxis are available. So, while our lives are quite different from anything we have known since adulthood, they are certainly very acceptable.
One never has to look far to see circumstances much less desirable and counting one's blessings is very important to a positive attitude.
Residents arrive here for a variety of reasons. In some instances, individuals have come here at the insistence of concerned relatives, only to feel abandoned by their kin once they got here. Others are proud of the constant care and attention given by their "kids."
One thing is certain: With more and more citizens reaching retirement age, communities of this sort will become prevalent. It makes one wonder if earlier generations had a better idea, that of keeping the generations together under one roof or in "grandma" cottages close by.
There is something to be said for intergenerational sharing even though interests can clash. However they got here, most come to realize they might just as well enjoy "life in the slow lane."
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* BONNIE JEMMETT is a resident of Highland Cove retirement community in Salt Lake City.
