And yet, the Utah Legislature, for some inexplicable reason, seems determined to inject itself into negotiations that should only be between a man and a woman.
Last year legislators debated laws designed to encourage marriage and wanted to offer a break on marriage-license fees to those who agreed to study up on the subject before tying the knot. They also discussed making "no-fault" divorce more difficult, as if it weren't difficult enough already.
Years ago, they passed a law requiring a 90-day pre-divorce waiting period - during which, they hoped, couples might change their minds - and mandated divorce counseling for parents.
Now they are having to come up with amendments to the required 90-day cooling-off time before a divorce can be final, since couples with children can get the time waived and be quickly parted, while childless couples have to wait out the three months. Some people - surprise! - find that unfair. Eliminating the waiting period would be fair.
At the same time, legislators are working out the details on another useless bill to promote marriage-preparation counseling.
It seems to us that there is little the state can, or should, do to force people to make better decisions when it comes to starting or ending a marriage. People with all kinds of backgrounds and beliefs decide to join up for all kinds of reasons, just as they decide to part for all kinds of reasons.
Those responsible, serious folk who want to do everything they can to ensure long-lasting couplehood probably will seek counseling, from people they trust or from experts in the field, before they take the plunge. Still, some of those well-plotted marriages will not last a lifetime.
Other types of people, even if forced to examine their motives, will create bad marriages and bad divorces, regardless of how the state may try to stop them.
It seems just a bit paternal of legislators to try to take up the role of parent, clergy or marriage counselor for all Utahns. Beyond making laws governing the legalities of marriage and divorce contracts and protecting children in a divorce, the state should stay out of the marriage business.
