This is an archived article that was published on sltrib.com in 2017, and information in the article may be outdated. It is provided only for personal research purposes and may not be reprinted.

Our son got married last weekend. But not in your conventional kind of marriage; he got married to another man. We have been given all kinds of advice and many have offered their opinions. The fact that we are active members of the LDS Church makes the whole situation more interesting.

While I don't know everything and I don't know what the future holds, there are some things I do know.

I know that "we all lose when an atmosphere of anger or hostility or contention prevails ... [and] we all need to promote and practice the virtue of civility" (Elder Dallin H. Oaks, 2016 Mormon Studies Religious Freedom Conference at California's Claremont Graduate University).

I know we attended the wedding and we are going to welcome our new son-in-law into our family with open arms. I know we are going to continue to promote love and unity in our family.

I work to help prevent suicides in Utah, especially youth suicides. I know that when we marginalize any group in our society, we are sending a negative message to everyone, especially our vulnerable youth. We all have a basic need to be loved and to connect with other human beings. We will always have a healthier society if we all work to support each other.

The family is the most basic unit of society; anything that weakens the family weakens society. Strong families make a strong society. Strong families include all its members. It is one of the most important protective factors in suicide prevention. Strong families, congregations and societies include all of their members. Unfortunately, "Some exclude from their circle of fellowship those who are different" (Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, Ensign Magazine, October 2007).

We are grateful to all who joined us in letting our son know he is loved and will be welcomed anytime he wants to join us in our church congregation. We are grateful to the many people who have expressed love and support for our family. I am most grateful for those who have realized that their religion is one of hope and teaches us to love each other — saints and sinners alike.

All society wins when we cease-fire and put an end to cultural wars. We all win if we choose to value all people in our society. We all win if we seek to understand and respect each other's points of view and work to defend each others' rights, especially in housing and employment. (See Elder Dallin H. Oaks, Religious Freedom, Texas Regional Conference Sept. 10, 2016.)

Let's all start with our own families and neighborhoods. We don't need to agree to be kind. Kindness and strong families will help save lives.

Debra Oaks Coe, a Lehi Realtor, is an executive committee member of the Utah Commission on LGBT Suicide Awareness and Prevention.