This is an archived article that was published on sltrib.com in 2017, and information in the article may be outdated. It is provided only for personal research purposes and may not be reprinted.

I read several times the commentary by John Gustav-Wrathall ("Bridging the chasm between LGBT and Mormon," Tribune, April 10) in which he questions others' puzzlement that he, as a gay man, can find comfort in a church that excommunicated tens of thousands of its own members — specifically, LGBT members and their children; born and even the unborn.

The answer, John, is one of conscience. For some, rejecting bigotry from a "we and only we know what's best for everyone" group is natural and moral. I like to believe this is usually the American way.

For me, and thousands of others, the chasm you speak of is near bottomless. This is why for me. I gave up everything I held as spiritually/eternally vital putting distance between myself and the hate which was/is so tangible. My eyes witnessed the horror of my faith "writing people off" as if they were no more than sick stock on a church owned cattle ranch. How easy it was. How Easy! And how disingenuous to claim this as an act of "Love." To me this mass expulsion was not love, it looked more like pure revenge after having lost a very public war.

The lies used to pass Prop 8; hearing mean, ignorant talks in General Conference; the immediate magnification of masked hate at the church house; watching my LGBT friend (best friend) remotely mocked by leaders "moved by the Spirit." This all became too much for me to rationalize away or to await for yet another future game changing revelation from God that would surely dissolve these leaders of any responsibility or historical accountability.

For me "The Edict" became the final straw. Neither my conscience nor my soul could bear no more. So 40-plus years after my conversion, raising a family and after serving a long list of church positions, this devout, straight Mormon very quietly resigned his valued membership. The decision to resign was prayerfully approached and, having had held off a while, certainly not an impulsive one. Regarding my resignation there was no celebrating nor partying in front of cameras, there was no joy at all, yet.

I have no real regrets, only the rare sigh. I left my church because it behaved in stark contrast to my deepest core values of right and wrong.

My decision came at no small cost to my wife, who remained a faithful member. She did nothing to deserve the whispers subsequent to my action, yet she alone struggled to explain a decision she opposed and a viewpoint she did not share.

So Mr. Gustav-Wrathall, if asked again why you as a gay man choose to remain in a church hostile to so many for simply being who God made them to be, simply say, "None of your business" (because it isn't) or whatever you want to say. All I ask is that you not be surprised when I may ask, "Why?" We paid (and are paying) a price in the name of equality, your equality as well. Innocents unwillingly paid a price. They might ask "Why?" as well. Please understand.

Thank you for your courage attempting to tell us 'why', but I might still dare to wonder. Having said all this, I'm truly glad you are happy. As for me, I am at peace as well, but the consequences remain tender.

Tom McPartland, South Ogden, was a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints for 41 years. He is a retired U.S. Postal Service letter carrier and retired as a chief warrant officer from the U.S. Air Force Reserve.