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To my brothers and sisters in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints:

The gospel of Jesus Christ, when planted in fertile ground and nourished diligently, bears good fruit. It teaches us to repent and forgive, to serve and to love people with whom we have little in common. But the fact that many Mormons have remained silent or have rationalized the recent handbook change suggests other fruits: thoughtlessness and blind obedience to authority.

Faced with a policy that excludes and stigmatizes children and puts their parents on par with rapists and murderers, we all have a choice: We can stay or we can leave. But if we stay, our core beliefs should lead us to publicly dissent on this issue.

Like many Mormons, I disagree with the church's position on gay marriage, but I recognize that there is a plausible theological case to be made in its defense. By contrast, this policy could not oppose our foundational doctrine more directly. At the center of Mormonism is Christ. He said, "Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me." George Q. Cannon, a latter-day apostle, interpreted this verse: "We have no hint that [Jesus] asked whose children they were, or the standing or faith of their parents … All little children, no matter what their parentage may be, are innocent in the sight of heaven, and they should be received as such and blessed as such." Are we willing to trade that doctrine for this policy?

If not, we have within our tradition resources for sustaining our leaders while disagreeing with some of their decisions. In the early church, Brigham Young worried that Mormons would settle into "blind self-security" that would "weaken that influence they could give to their leaders, did they know for themselves, by the revelations of Jesus, that they are led in the right way."

We have always believed in both personal and prophetic revelation. Where the two conflict, we reject compulsion as a means of resolving the tension. Moreover, we remember the racist policy by which we excluded black men from the priesthood until 1978. And we know that "there have been times when members or leaders in the church have simply made mistakes." If, knowing these things, we do nothing in the face of this policy, we have to ask ourselves how a good seed has produced such rotten fruit.

How can one publicly dissent without leaving? Here are a few suggestions:

1) Pay 10 percent of your income in fast offerings, rather than tithing, this year. That money will help members of your ward pay for things like medicine, rent and utilities. Your generous offering will build Zion while signaling your dissent to the church headquarters.

2) Communicate your concerns about the policy to each other, to local leaders and, through them, to the church headquarters. This painful moment is an opportunity for us to learn to speak the truth in love, rather than exploding with vitriol or avoiding our disagreements.

3) If you are in a bishopric, I hope that you will choose not to implement this policy. The Newsroom commentary leaves room for you to seek inspiration and act in the best interest of the families you serve.

4) Be an ally to gay Mormons and ex-Mormons and their children. Ask them about their experiences, listen, and make a conscious effort to include them, while respecting their desires.

Like you, I believe in the atonement. I know that repentance and forgiveness are real and powerful. They are accessible to everyone: those who leave, those who stay and those who made this policy.

Mie Inouye is a doctoral student in political science and religious studies at Yale University and a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.