This is an archived article that was published on sltrib.com in 2015, and information in the article may be outdated. It is provided only for personal research purposes and may not be reprinted.
With tongue firmly planted in cheek and thoughts of satire dancing in my head, here are my predictions for Utah politics in 2015:
• Former House Speaker Becky Lockhart, once believed to be a front-runner to challenge Gov. Gary Herbert in the 2016 Republican primary, applies to be head of the Governor's Office of Economic Development. Herbert does not hire her.
• Lockhart applies to be head of the Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control. She fails the initial interview when she cannot name the difference between a screwdriver and the governor's Utah Highway Patrol chauffeur and she thinks a bloody mary is Queen Anne's cousin.
• Rep. Jason Chaffetz, new chairman of the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee, calls for an investigation of the meals prepared at the White House, determined to find inconsistencies in Michelle Obama's call for nutritional food in schools and what her family actually eats. He subpoenas all the chefs and food preparers at the White House for an exhaustive, two-week hearing. The Obamas, with no one there to cook, resort to takeout. It appears their favorite food is Chinese, which compels the Utah Republican to call for another probe concerning the president's apparent disdain for good old American hot dogs.
• Sen. Orrin Hatch announces he will work with his conservative colleagues to reform tax policies that will grow jobs and drop gas prices below $3 a gallon. When informed gas already is below $3 a gallon, the Utah Republican vows to work with conservatives to keep the prices where they are.
• Rep. Ken Ivory, R-West Jordan, creates a nonprofit organization to teach children how to be kind to animals. He then sponsors legislation compelling schools to open their doors to after-school animal-kindness seminars. The group's website contains a prominent donation link for supporters to click.
• Rep. Mike Noel, R-Kanab, lambastes environmentalists at least three times as they testify before committee meetings about legislation intended to promote cleaner air and water and asks them why they hate his kids and grandkids. He then calls on them to repent and he will forgive them.
• Sen. Howard Stephenson, R-Draper, sponsors a bill to create a commission dedicated to rewriting education policies and exploring an initiative to replace all live teachers with robots supplied by private vendors.
• Lockhart applies to be director of the Robotic Teachers Commission. She doesn't get the job.
• The Utah County Republican Party's Central Committee passes a resolution to bar Democrats from Utah County. Utah Attorney General Sean Reyes declines to comment on whether he believes such a ban is unconstitutional.
• Reyes does, however, opine during a speech at the state GOP convention that any attempt to ban law-abiding citizens from bringing their guns to preschool or day care centers would be unconstitutional.
• In a symbolic gesture, Rep. Curt Oda, R-Clearfield, nominates Reyes to be Utah's favorite son for the 2016 presidential nomination. The convention erupts in celebration with many of the delegates firing their six-shooters in the air.
• Lockhart applies to be director of a proposed Utah Protect Our Second Amendment Commission. The commission is never approved.