The invitation from the group, Affirmation, was sent by overnight letter to Thomas S. Monson on Feb. 6 - three days after he assumed leadership of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints following the death of its previous president, Gordon B. Hinckley.

''Although there are many areas of hurt and disagreement that have separated us, there are many more areas on which we can find agreement, and in doing so, become a blessing in the lives of many of the Saints, both straight and gay,'' the organization's leaders wrote.

Such a meeting with Monson and his counselors - a triumvirate known as the First Presidency - would be unprecedented, said David W. Melson, the group's assistant executive director. Affirmation, with more than 2,000 gay, lesbian and transgender members, is not recognized by the church.

Recently, church leaders have softened their position, drawing a distinction between the feelings or inclinations of same-gender attraction, as they call it, and actions. Hinckley, who died Jan. 27 at age 97, had called on the church to reach out to gay members with compassion and love.

Despite those changes, a history of hurtful rhetoric leaves many gay Mormons with only suspicion and mistrust, Melson said.

Affirmation, a group founded in 1977 by closeted gay students at the church-owned Brigham Young University, hopes that conversation with the First Presidency can forge a better future by expanding the church's understanding and jointly looking for more effective, compassionate ways of addressing the concerns of gay, lesbian and transgender members.

Melson said that could prevent Mormon parents from kicking their gay children out of their homes and reduce the number of suicides among young gay men.