Bishop wasn't amused. Raised in peaceful Brigham City, Bishop spent his "younger, wilder college days" in Utah's capital city.

"When we wanted to go out at night, we would take off the working Wranglers, put on the clean Wranglers and go down to 7-Eleven and find the new Slurpee flavors of the month."

"It's true our happy hours are determined by how much green Jell-O is available, because a party is not a party without green Jell-O and carrot bits," Bishop said. "Indeed, if you order a mixed drink, it will definitely involve chocolate syrup and milk, but you still have to stir vigorously with the straw. And he says we have no night life?"

He continued, "[Markey] can find private clubs and dance clubs and comedy clubs and concerts and even, although I don't recommend it, get drunk in Salt Lake City. He might even be able to listen to a debate between a publicity-seeking mayor and a radio talk show host about Iraq, in which case he would probably want to be drunk.

"In short, I would simply recommend and invite the good gentleman from Massachusetts to come and visit our state. I would suggest, perhaps, though, he should bring an interpreter with him, because in Utah we still do not put an R at the end of our vowels."

Tale of two Monicas

Right after former Justice Department official Monica Goodling testified the No. 2 in the department (in her opinion) had given misleading testimony to Congress and she personally had "crossed the line" in politicizing non-political positions, Rep. Chris Cannon held a short news conference to declare that Democrats had come up empty in their hunt for wrongdoing.

His mind, however, seemed to be on another era, happier days when a young congressman could see corruption everywhere he looked.

"Are we looking for violations by Monica Lewinsky?" misspoke Cannon, who managed the impeachment of President Clinton for lying about his relationship with the intern.

Close. But no cigar.

Senior moment

The District of Columbia's non-voting delegate Eleanor Holmes-Norton made a faux pas when lauding Sen. Orrin Hatch for his leadership on a bill to give the district and Utah a House seat each. Norton, in praising Hatch, introduced him as a "senior citizen, um, senior senator."

Hatch quickly grabbed his microphone.

"You got it right the first time," Hatch said as the audience laughed. "I feel that way right now."

Rhymes with Mitt

Mitt Romney: He'll change positions, but he won't change diapers.

Romney told GQ in an article on fatherhood published this week that, as he raised five children, he passed on dealing with the kid's messy diapers, according to The Politico blogs.

"I was willing to change the urine-soaked diapers, but the messier types gave me dry heaves. So my wife allowed me to escape that," Romney told the magazine.

But Romney figures he can still put up with the crap in Washington. Does he have the stomach for it?

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* BURR and GEHRKE staff The Salt Lake Tribune's Washington bureau. They can be reached at tburr@sltrib.com and gehrke@sltrib.com.

On Utah's night life:

"If you order a mixed drink, it will definitely involve chocolate syrup and milk . . . And he says we have no night life?"

UTAH REP. ROB BISHOP,responding to a Massachusetts congressman's blast