Thursday, the Capitol Hill newspaper Roll Call gave it a little more mileage, speculating about who might replace Hatch in the Senate if the speculation is true that he might become attorney general if the speculation is true that embattled Attorney General Alberto Gonzales gets kicked to the curb. Utah GOP Executive Director Jeff Hartley offered numerous possibilities.

But why not go a step further and speculate about who might replace whomever replaces Hatch if he replaces Gonzales? This is what we, in the business, refer to as in-depth speculation.

We hate to speculate, but whomever it might be, it's a speculative spectacular, to be sure.

Dr. Cheney?

When Vice President Dick Cheney gives the commencement address at Brigham Young University later this month, there's a question whether the school will award him an honorary doctorate, frequently a typical "gift" to famous speakers at many colleges.

BYU isn't saying yet whether it will dole out a degree to the veep, whose visit to the LDS Church-owned Y. has spawned protests and controversy.

"Details will be forthcoming," the school's public relations shop says.

So the question remains whether Cheney will get an honorary degree. And, if so, what would it be? International diplomacy? Public Relations? Energy Policy? Environmental Science?

Open mike night

Presidential candidate Mitt Romney skewered his Mormon religion, Utah and the Republican Party two weeks ago - but everyone came out laughing.

The former Massachusetts governor played comedian recently at the 122nd Gridiron Club dinner, America's longest running dinner party that seeks to poke fun at politicians and the news media.

Some of Romney's best lines:

* Many people think Mormons are square, but Harry Reid and Orrin Hatch are Mormons and Romney recently joined them for a night on the town. He'd love to talk about it, but "what happens in Disneyland, stays in Disneyland."

* It's tough being a Republican in Democrat-dominated Massachusetts, Romney said, it's "like being a Mormon in a room full of alcoholics. Like here."

* Romney said he spent some time in Utah running the 2002 Winter Olympics. Utah teaches abstinence education, like many other states, but unlike other states, Utah doesn't do it because the state fears kids will get pregnant. They do it because they believe "sex could lead to dancing."

* Taking on a competitor, Romney brought up the point that Rudy Giuliani has been pictured in drag with Donald Trump. It's not Rudy's three wives that will be a problem, Romney quipped, but his "one husband."

The price of losing

To the victor go the spoils. But what about those congressional candidates who lose their races? According to the latest campaign finance reports, they're stuck with a lot of red ink.

Second District candidate LaVar Christensen's report shows he is still owed more than $50,000 by his campaign for office supplies, Web site expenses and consulting fees that he paid for.

And John Jacob lists more than $72,000 in campaign debts, again, much of it owed by the campaign to Jacob for things he bought for the campaign, like printing, phones, that sort of thing. But there is nearly $48,000 owed for a media buy.

Jacob, whose campaign was already imploding when he told The Tribune that the devil was working against him, does not report any debts for an exorcism.

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* BURR and GEHRKE staff The Salt Lake Tribune's Washington bureau. They can be reached at burr@sltrib.com or gehrke@sltrib.com.