His three boys are grown, and if it weren't for his live-in girlfriend - whom he calls a ''hard-core traditionalist'' - the Park City teacher would happily trade in the wreath, red bows and tree for an aluminum pole. That's all he needs, really. Because like Frank Costanza, Siemon finds ''tinsel distracting,'' which is why he yanked all of it off his Christmas tree this year.

Call him a Festivite, or Festivusian, one of a surprising number of Americans who are embracing Festivus, a nondenominational holiday popularized by a "Seinfeld" episode that first aired nine years ago. The Costanza family holiday, which "according to Seinfeld orthodoxy" should be observed on Dec. 23, has three central rituals, explains Allen Salkin, author of Festivus: The Holiday for the Rest of Us.

There's the simple aluminum pole, the Airing of Grievances, during which people rant about how others have disappointed them, and Feats of Strength, which in "Seinfeld" meant attempts to wrestle and pin to the floor George Costanza's father, played by Jerry Stiller.

Siemon, 48 and a longtime "Seinfeld" fan, hasn't gone full throttle. But he did purchase this year his first Festivus pole, a product now being offered by a Milwaukee-based handrail manufacturer, The Wagner Cos. It stands along a bare wall in his living room, just feet away from the Christmas cheer atop his dining room table.

"We're in a transition phase," he likes to say.

So it is for Festivus in general, says Salkin, who considers himself ''a Festivus expert.''

''I'd discovered this whole subculture no one was writing about - a deep trend that was totally unmined,'' says The New York Times reporter who also manages a Festivus Web site. ''It continues to amaze me. . . . People are continuing to invent the holiday for themselves.''

Case in point - there's a growing list of Festivus recipes. Among them: Ham with Junior Mint and Snapple Glaze, Festivus Pigeon and Don't Make Me Punch You Punch. The holiday has also inspired songs, including ''Gather 'Round the Pole,'' ''Festivus We Berate You,'' and the ever-uplifting ''So Good You Do Not Smell.''

Meantime, Feats of Strength are being played out in hula hoop contests, bull-riding matches and competitions to see who can hold their face in ice the longest.

Salkin, who lives in New York, took his pole to Rockefeller Center on Friday. He says one out of six people recognized the Festivus symbol, and many approached to air their own grievances. Some complained about the loss of Christmas spirit and lack of snow.

One person went off on drivers who ''block the box,'' creating traffic in front of the Holland Tunnel.

As for his grievance, Salkin's stays the same each year. ''I always grieve about my mother - about how her brisket is too wet,'' he says. ''I like a dry brisket, and she's always serving it wet.''

Nick, Siemon's 19-year-old son, grieves about how his younger brother, Joey, 17, ''inherited everything I left behind when I went to college.'' Joey, in turn, tells his older brother, ''You need to shave more often, you look like a bum.'' Their proud father peers down at their 13-year-old dog and adds, ''Bailey, you stink.''

Siemon plans to take this year's Christmas card photo in front of the Festivus pole, perhaps with the kids wrestling or holding up dumbbells.

''Everything you think about Festivus, it makes you chuckle,'' he laughs. ''It's all about fun . . . a nice alternative.''

jravitz@sltrib.com

The book on Festivus

* Learn more about the holiday at www.festivusbook.com.