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With Utah's own version of the Holy War scheduled to commence at 3 p.m. Saturday in Provo, I have once again compiled a list of the differences between Utah fans and BYU fans that forever will pit these two armies on the opposite sides of the abyss.
» Given the results of the 2008 presidential election in Salt Lake County, it appears that a majority of Utes fans voted for Barack Obama over John McCain. Given the results in Utah County of the 1992 presidential election, it appears that BYU fans formed the largest single voting bloc for presidential candidate, survivalist and militia devotee Bo Gritz.
» BYU fans, when the game is played in Salt Lake City, never realize that it is not wise to park south of Rice-Eccles Stadium and then walk along Guardsmen's Way wearing their Cougar blue. All the drunken Ute tailgaters converge into the same area, leaving their party venue to walk to the game. When the game is in Provo, the Utes fans travel in packs.
» BYU named its football arena, Lavell Edwards Stadium, after its most successful and beloved coach. Utah named its football arena Rice-Eccles Stadium, after two guys who gave the school a lot of money.
» In Salt Lake City, the University of Utah has an active and vibrant religious center called the LDS Institute. In Provo, the LDS Institute has an active and vibrant academic center called BYU.
» When Utah plays in the Las Vegas Bowl, one can expect an
» BYU opens every football game with a prayer said over the loud speaker system. Utah features "Bubbles" at every football game
» When BYU fans take binoculars to their football games, they are actually real binoculars. Utes fans' binoculars often are hollow so they can drink out of them.
» The University of Utah banned employees and students from taking guns on the campus until the Utah Legislature made them accept gun toters. BYU bans all sorts of things, like Playboy , men's muscle magazines and Democratic Party literature.
» BYU fans often recite the phrase "Austin 4:18" in reference to Cougars wide receiver Austin's Collie's long reception of a Max Hall pass when BYU faced 4th and 18 from inside their own 20 yard line with less than two minutes to play. Utah fans think they are reciting from the Book of Austin in Mormon scriptures.
» If the University of Utah ever puts a non-Ute in its Football Hall of Fame, it would be BYU quarterback Max Hall, who threw five interceptions in Utah's 48-24 victory last year. If BYU ever puts a non-Cougar in its Football Hall of Fame, it would be Utes field goal kicker Ryan Kaneshiro, whose 32-yard clunker off the goal post prevented Utah from defeating BYU in 1998.
» A BYU fan's oft-repeated mantra is "Harline is still open." A Utah fan's oft-repeated mantra is "Throw it to Kruger."
» Many Utah fans want to make sure there is parental permission before their children receive certain sex-ed instruction in school. Many BYU fans want to make sure there is parental permission before their children can watch the duly-elected president of the United States tell them to work hard in school.
