Dear Harriette » I work with a group of what my co-worker calls "contrarians." I am a manager. They first react to nearly anything with some kind of extremely intense negative response. One by one, at different times, I have to listen to some kind of back talk that is super-negative, even if they ultimately get to consensus on how to work. I feel as if I'm talking to a group of little kids sometimes. I get that people have to express themselves and defend their points, but every single thing is a point of contention. I often feel that they are arguing because that's all they know how to do. Help!

Belinda, Washington, D.C.

Dear Belinda » It could be that morale is low at your business, creating a petri dish for naysayers. When spirits are low and/or tensions are high, negativity often reigns. It could be that someone did a poor job of hiring. I heard years ago that it costs a business many times over to hire the wrong person, because employers typically take too long to fire the bad eggs. That said, your desire is to know what to do. Start by talking to human resources to learn if there are procedures the company has in place to inspire employees to behave professionally and respectfully. Some companies have policies regarding gossip and negativity. You may not need to use that information, but it's good to know if such policies exist. No need to name names when you talk to human resources. Talk

to the contrarians. If you do not get the results you need, report the individual(s) to human resources and put them on warning.

 

Dear Harriette » My daughter has been asking me when she can get a cell phone. She is 6 years old! She is tracking all of the children who already have phones, from ages 9 to 13. I can't believe this is what she's thinking about. What do I say?

Emily, Dallas, Texas

Dear Emily » Don't promise anything you don't intend to fulfill years down the road. Trust that whatever age you agree to, your daughter will remember. Instead, tell her that she will get a phone when you deem it time. Point out that children often receive cell phones so they can be available to their parents in case of emergency.

Harriette Cole's column runs Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays.