Carl and Valerie Jensen thought their youngest son would grow out of it -- his avoidance of eye contact as a toddler and his shunning of being held or rocked. Or maybe a "medical miracle" would occur and he would be like his older brothers and sisters.
That never happened. Today, the retired Farmington couple care for their 30-year-old autistic son much as they did when he was a child.
Their son -- his parents didn't want his name published for fear it would disturb him -- lives in an apartment attached to their home. While he earned Eagle Scout rank, served a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in the Temple Square gardens and works as a custodian two days a week under his mother's supervision, his parents still worry about him crossing busy streets alone. And mom reminds him to brush his teeth.
"He wouldn't be able to be on his own without mom and dad being here to solve problems or intervene when he has confusion," says Carl Jensen.
It's likely a common scenario, according to a new Utah study of autistic adults. More than half of the higher-functioning adults lived with their parents.
At ages 68 and 62, Carl and Valerie Jensen have asked another son to care for their youngest when they die.
The Jensen family are the son's main source of social contact, along with a group of friends he made in special education classes in high school. The social support he once had through his LDS ward is largely gone now that his peers have moved on and married.
Valerie Jensen believes the isolation is a source of frustration for her son.
"We're older. We don't like to play basketball. There's just not enough for him to [do] fill his time," she says.
Their son says he likes living at home "right now." But he's thought about moving farther away. "Maybe it won't even happen," he says. "I'd like to see what it's like to be totally, totally independent."
The arrangement poses challenges for the parents, too. They don't feel they can leave him alone -- but leaving him under the supervision of others interrupts his routine. Though they love to travel, they are starting to turn down trips.
Still, Carl Jensen describes their lives like this: "This is just kind of our mission in life, to be parents and do as much good for him as we possibly can."
