Delegates to the Salt Lake County Republican Convention knew what they were doing when they nominated Chris Buttars to run for re-election.

Utah needs the homophobic, oratorically-challenged, archconservative - if only for his entertainment value. West Jordan, South Jordan, Riverton and Herriman voters: Think of newspaper columnists and theater satirists when you go to the polls in November. Buttars will keep us in business for generations.

Without the two-term state senator, we wouldn't have gems like "the gay?," "dat" (a word he made up by combining "cat" and "dog" to prove that evolution doesn't happen) or the "dark, ugly" baby thing to work with.

A good chunk of Salt Lake Acting Company's 30th-anniversary political lampoonery is dedicated to Buttars' 2008 - a year of the curmudgeonly legislator's racist tongue-bumblings, gay-baiting, judicial interference and Mapleton City bullying.

Sensing an opportunity, his Democratic opponent, businessman John Rendell, bought up a bunch of seats last week for a fundraiser. He gets the irony.

"I'm a little nervous," Rendell said before the show, "because when I beat Chris Buttars, we're going to lose about 30 minutes of material."

Outside the theater, Michael Picardi was selling $20 T-shirts with a picture of a grimacing Buttars and the caption: "Had enough yet?"

"If we could just publish all of his gaffes, we could make a fortune," said Picardi, a member of the Stonewall Democrats. He plans to donate the proceeds to Rendell.

Inside, a few audience members wore T-shirts with "Stupidity Should Be Painful" above the same picture.

Some of the best Buttars bits this year come from actor Duane Stephens snarling a rendition of Amy Winehouse's "Rehab" (ending with the boxer-clad state senator giving the crowd the finger) and a "Battle Hymn of the Republic" rip-off (with lyrics like, "Mine eyes have seen the photo of Chris Buttars in The Trib").

"Voyeur's" playwrights are split on Buttars' value to their political satire. Only Eagle Forum President Gayle Ruzicka has been skewered more over the years. This year, she and Buttars are cast as conjoined twins, singing the Captain Hook song.

Nancy Borgenicht would rather Buttars lost. After all, LaVar Christensen, Buttars' regular wingman, is trying to take back his Sandy House seat. There obviously are more where Buttars came from, Borgenicht says.

"I hope he loses big. The man is just a humiliation, an embarrassment to all of us," she said. "He's great material. But I would give that up for his loss.

"I know I could write a song about how much we miss Chris Buttars."

But her partner in snark, Allen Nevins, sees a business opportunity. Thinking cynically, Buttars' re-election, he says, would be a "gift from God."

"If you can help him in any way, we'd be very appreciative," said Nevins.

I'm giving it my best shot.

walsh@sltrib.com