This is an archived article that was published on sltrib.com in 2016, and information in the article may be outdated. It is provided only for personal research purposes and may not be reprinted.

Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump winning the New Hampshire primary didn't surprise me. It scares me, but it didn't surprise me.

My sole consolation is that Trump's win (and Sanders' win over Clinton) helps prove I'm right about something.

Note: I don't have a great record when it comes to being right about stuff. You can ask my wife, editor, bishop, Sonny, most of my neighbors or any of my grandkids.

Never mind. Here's what I'm right about. The emergence of Trump and Sanders says something about the voting public, namely that we're tired of a two-party system that promises everything but delivers very little.

Right or wrong, Americans have listened to the same crap for a hundred years, and no matter which party has been in control, we've been steered by them to the mess we're in today.

The worst part for me is that the candidates all act like their presidency is a done deal.

Candidate A: "When I'm president, I will put a stop to muskrats being run over in traffic. I will end this needless slaughter of innocents!"

Candidate B: "When I'm in the White House, I will build a bridge from here to France and make them pay for it! Americans have the right to skateboard all the way to Paris."

Candidate C: "The moment I'm elected, there will be Cocoa Puffs on every table in America."

There are really only two choices in American politics — Republican and Democrat. This isn't a difference between right and wrong. It's a choice between Horrible and Terrible.

The attraction of Trump and Sanders to the American voter is that at the very least, their presidencies wouldn't be boring.

If Trump gets elected, I'd actually pay attention to his foreign policy stumbles. It's one thing to say something stupid at home, and another thing to try it on people with no discernible sense of humor. Hell, I'd like to see him try sitting down with the Saudis.

"You know what's wrong with you people? None of you are as handsome as Omar Sharif and you're always wearing bedding. I can't take anyone seriously if it looks like they just climbed out of a hamper."

I'd like to see him try to build that wall between the U.S. and a country of rapists — excuse me, I mean Mexico — without hurting their feelings, never mind getting them to pay for it.

It would be fun to watch Sanders try to bring socialism to a country still in the nuclear shadow of spending trillions of dollars on the remote possibility of nuking anyone who wasn't down with capitalism.

America is probably thinking that either of those guys would be worth the trouble they caused just for the sake of letting Democrats and Republicans understand how Americans feel about the two-party failures.

What we need is another party, and by that I mean a viable one that might actually get results. I don't know who we would get to run it, but given our penchant for electing people who only make things worse, I know what we should call it.

The Cocoa Puffs Party.

Robert Kirby can be reached at rkirby@sltrib.com or facebook.com/stillnotpatbagley.