This is an archived article that was published on sltrib.com in 2016, and information in the article may be outdated. It is provided only for personal research purposes and may not be reprinted.

If you live in the Herriman/Riverton area and are responsible in any way for a young girl who drives a late-model dark gray or black Jeep Wrangler, you might want to take a look at the front end of the vehicle.

On Sunday, I was stopped at a sign near my home when I watched the Jeep (and the girl) come down the road at about 30 mph, drive off the asphalt, plow along the snow-packed curb strip, and park on top of a 20-foot tree.

The Jeep had to knock the tree down first, which itself was impressive and, more importantly, fortunate. A couple of sturdy pedestrians or a moose wouldn't have even slowed the Jeep down.

Although it's been years, part of my brain still thinks in "police." My first thought was how much #%@* paperwork this situation might require. This was followed by the sense of obligation to make sure everyone was OK.

In the five seconds it took to drive across the street, I ran through the possible causes. From long experience, my brain immediately produced the top three possibilities.

1. Drunk.

2. Dumbass.

3. Disabled.

Drunk is a broad determination. It isn't just alcohol, but also illegal drugs, prescribed medications, and anything else you might put into your body (including a dozen or so energy drinks) that messes with your head's natural Wi-Fi connection. Barring the next two causes, nobody drives over trees without some kind of chemical diminishment.

Next up is Dumbass. In my experience (both personal and professional), it's the most common of the three causes. It covers natural human fallibility. This can range from being too old, too young, too tired and/or too stupid to pay enough attention to get from Point A to Point B without screwing it up.

Disabled applies to both mechanical and biological factors that can cause a loss of control — things like the brakes failing coming down a steep hill, or maybe a heart attack while trying to sing along with Aerosmith.

It turned out to be No. 2. The teenage girl behind the wheel was chagrined. She explained how she was merely "trying to fix something" when the Jeep took advantage of the situation and just ran off the road.

This would be an excellent opportunity to make fun of young drivers whose brains haven't fully developed yet, but I'm not going to. I have my own record of idiot mistakes behind the wheel as a teenager and even later as an adult. Besides, I'm more interested in what happened next.

I asked Ms. Ditz if she and her passenger were injured. They weren't. Then I checked to make sure the Jeep was OK. It was. Finally, I assured them that if this was the worst thing that would ever happen to her, she didn't have anything to worry about. It could have been worse.

Finally, I said someone needed to call the police and report the accident. They should hang around so they wouldn't be charged with leaving the scene of an accident. That'd only make things worse. They agreed.

Guess what they did?

Yeah, I wasn't a full block away before I saw the Jeep pull back onto the road and depart. From a sidewalk in my neighborhood. Where my granddaughters walk.

Sometimes the only way you can convince people how easy they have it is to help them make things worse for themselves.

If you know anything about this, call UPD dispatch at 801-743-7000 and tell them you need to talk to someone about case No. 16-857.

Robert Kirby can be reached at rkirby@sltrib.com or facebook.com/stillnotpatbagley.