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Sunday is the clash of important days. It's LDS General Conference and Christian Easter. Tough choice for Mormons. Listen to words of inspiration from our top leaders, or participate in a moronic ritual intended to commemorate Jesus' victory over death.

Note: Commemorating the Resurrection with a ceremony featuring a rabbit hiding colored eggs is definitely moronic. It gets even stupider when we factor into it a candy only two molecules short of being Styrofoam — Peeps.

Although potentially a conflict, it's possible for Mormons to celebrate Easter and watch conference on the same day. If we let the kids hunt for eggs before the morning session, then we can have high caloric snacks while we listen to talks about moderation, the Word of Wisdom, being healthy, etc.

Every LDS family does conference and Easter according to its own traditions. At my house, we (actually just me) wait for the published conference reports to come out so that actual conference doesn't interfere with the primary purpose of the day — spinning grandchildren into an ear-splitting, snit-throwing sugar rush.

About the time conference breaks for lunch, my clan will be gathering around the table for the traditional Kirby Easter fare: ham, funeral potatoes, buttered corn, pineapple salad and peanuts.

Another note: We try to keep it reverent. On Easter, the traditional funeral potatoes are referred to as "resurrection potatoes."

Still, it's hard to find the right food for Easter. There's irony in celebrating the Resurrection with food that Jesus himself never ate. Jesus was a Jew. For him, pigs were unclean and fit only as temporary places of incarceration for evil spirits.

The Lord also never ate corn, potatoes, pineapple or peanuts — none of which were part of the Middle Eastern diet until long after the New World was discovered, or about the time Sen. Orrin Hatch was born.

Yeah, I know, the Book of Mormon teaches that Christ visited the New World after his resurrection. Unlike the Bible, which emphasizes that Jesus had an Easter meal (some kind of fish) with his apostles, the Book of Mormon is silent about the Lord and food.

The Lord's one-day visit to the New World — which contains 17 chapters worth of detailed instruction about everything else — didn't involve lunch. Other than wine and bread for sacrament, there is not a single word in the Book of Mormon about Jesus eating during his visit.

Enough of important doctrine for now. At issue here is how to appropriately celebrate a combined General Easter Conference.

There's the super righteous way of kicking Easter to the curb and getting dressed in your Sunday clothes to watch conference on television, thereby showing your utter adherence to the latter form of worship over the former. Never mind that the former is the entire basis for the latter.

Or you could try to blend them together. Hiding Easter eggs in the TV room to keep the kids occupied while you try to watch conference around them, for example. The ensuing havoc will be distracting, but it isn't the worst way.

That would be getting dressed up in your Easter clothes and hauling the family to the Conference Center for Easter. It's impossible to hunt for eggs there.

Robert Kirby can be reached at rkirby@sltrib.com or facebook.com/stillnotpatbagley. Find his past columns at http://www.sltrib.com/lifestyle/kirby