This is an archived article that was published on sltrib.com in 2015, and information in the article may be outdated. It is provided only for personal research purposes and may not be reprinted.
In October, the LDS Church announced it was interested in getting feedback from members about temple garments. I say "was" because I just tried to do that and was told to go away.
Actually, the feedback site now says: "Thank your for your interest in providing feedback regarding temple garments. We have met our response quotas at this time and are no longer accepting additional responses."
Quotas? Hmm, that sounds suspiciously like "We have reached our limit of 12-15 requisite opinions on the matter."
I was discouraged until I read the last line. "However, please feel free to leave any comments or concerns you may have below. Thank you!" An empty text window awaited my feedback.
It probably doesn't mean anything to you, but it's a big deal to me. Likewise, the Pope asking pew-level Catholics for feedback on something holy would be a big deal to them.
This was the first time my church actually seemed to care what I thought, although that had never stopped me from offering it before. Now it was asking for my feedback.
Heretofore, my concerns were handled by leaders with "That is inappropriately light-minded," and "Keep such thoughts to yourself," or "Brother Kirby, are you taking your meds?" Stuff like that.
But now I could type in my concerns and they would be sent directly to the desk of a high-ranking church leader capable of doing something about them. I was almost giddy with the prospects.
Then cynicism got the better of me. Sounding off could also be a trap. What if I wrote something and sent it only to have my computer cyber-locked with some kind of tithing ransomware, followed by a mission call to a welfare sewage treatment plant?
It was worth a test. I wrote: "If I Steve and Chantelle Phillips can bring their 8-year-old son Jarren to church, why can't I bring a monkey?"
When I clicked "next" there followed a two-second flash of: "Your response has been received and will be recorded. Please wait while we finish processing your response."
There was no wait. Bloop! I was immediately forwarded to store.lds.org, an online place to shop for LDS supplies and products, none of which included muzzles and duct tape.
I felt like Ralphie decoding the secret message in A Christmas Story. "A crummy commercial? Son of a [bleep]!"
Later, after considerable sulking, I decided to try again. Nothing really bad had happened. Just a bit of merchandising slight-of-hand. And it did say that my response had been "recorded."
So I expressed my concerns on a number of LDS issues that I hoped the church would consider doing something about.
For starters, do we really need three hours of church on Sunday? Seems an excessively long stretch to learn about stuff we've heard at least a million times already.
Would it be possible to consider a "cash back" plan for tithing and fast offerings?
How about a dress down Sunday? What if every month with five Sundays in it, the fifth Sunday was a day in which the dress code was completely relaxed? Flip flops, shorts, pajama pants, and even Hawaiian shirts under those suit coats.
There's a bunch more but I've run out of space. If anything really weird/cool happens, you can blame it on me. You're welcome.