A recent acquaintance massages Tim Longwell's bald head, which sits in her lap.
The 6-foot-5 Longwell, an Orem native, wears a lime green pajama onesie, complete with footies. The two are joined by about 25 others in pajamas — some strangers, some old friends — ranging in age from 20 to mid-50s. They're sitting on what looks like a giant bed — although they're assured it is not — made of four futon cushions pushed together, with blankets and pillows atop. Couches line the walls.
The large room — a recording studio by day — feels full. The lighting is dim, and laughter and affection abound from the time people enter the room. People who just met are massaging, spooning and caressing one another.
It might sound awkward, or too intimate, but the mood is overwhelmingly positive, and people seem comfortable even before the four-hour party begins.
The gathering is a "Cuddle Party," and strangers come for nonsexual feels and feel-goods. It's about physical touch that's not about sex.
Why people want it
Many at the gathering mention being prompted to attend by life-changing events — a recent breakup or divorce, moving to a new city or simply being lonely.
Pamela Bradford moved to Utah in 2013. A divorce and her children moving out of the house meant months passed without being touched.
"I would go to work in a male-dominated workplace with HR regulations — no touch," she said. "Come home and write until I went to sleep — no touch. Wake up and repeat. I hadn't touched another single human being except in the course of an accident, and you don't want to get to where you start to arrange accidents."
Bradford searched for touch therapy and found Cuddle Party, but there were no cuddle parties in Utah at the time. That's when she became the group's first official facilitator in Utah.
Rick Priddis, the facilitator and host of this July party, understands even though his girlfriend is at the party.
"My dad, I don't remember him ever hugging me," Priddis said. "When I went off to college, he gave me a nice, firm handshake. ... I just had this desire to let down some of the walls that I felt."
How it works
The national Cuddle Party organization requires a workshop to begin the party so cuddlers become oriented to the rules — a clear attempt to keep the cuddling nonsexual. There's a list of rules that must be followed.
Clothes (or pajamas) must stay on. No one is forced to participate. And people can and should change their minds in the middle of a cuddle.
A cuddle must be initiated by first asking permission. When the cuddles begin, phrases like "Can I massage your back?" "Would you like to hold my hand?" or "May I rest my head on your chest" are on repeat.
"If you're a 'yes,' say 'yes,' " the rules state. "If you're a 'no,' say 'no.' "
And "if you're a 'maybe,' say 'no.' "
As long as there is verbal consent, anything is fair game. Everywhere you turn, there's a back rub, a scalp massage or running fingers through another's hair. People are rubbing feet, stroking arms or holding hands.
While the feeling in the room isn't sexual, and Utah facilitators say they've never seen a party out of line with the rules, a few relationships formed at cuddle parties have turned into something more.
Bryant and Diane Hansen met at a cuddle party in July 2014 and married in June.
"I was the first person to cuddle her at her first party," Bryant Hansen said. "But it wasn't cuddling that brought us together. That's just a nice bonus."
Priddis remembered one military veteran who came to a party from Logan after his counselor said he needed touch therapy.
"It helps people to feel good and experience that kindness," Priddis said. "He used to have somebody just run their fingers through his hair."
The science of it
Tiffany Field, founder and researcher at the Touch Research Institute at the University of Miami, said her research implies that nonsexual touch can reduce stress and blood pressure, improve sleep and save immune cells to help fight off illness.
But none of the research deals with strangers cuddling. That's why Julianne Holt-Lunstad, who studies the benefits of nonsexual touch in married couples, said she's skeptical of the benefits.
"Is it about physical touch or about the connection?" she said. "Or is it a combination of the two?"
If there could be a potential harm, like people becoming lonelier after leaving a cuddle party, Holt-Lunstad said, "we need to be aware of that."
Plus, Holt-Lunstad said, if there are any benefits to cuddling with strangers, her guess is that it's temporary.
Field agrees, saying touch therapy is like diet and exercise — you have to do it daily to get the benefits.
Because of that, the three Cuddle Party chapters in Utah gather at least twice a month, sometimes more, in Salt Lake and Utah counties. And Longwell said he looks forward to each one.
"You're blissed out" after a cuddle party, he said.
After a couple of days, the "bliss" of physical touch wears off, and he's left awaiting the next cuddle party.
"There's a thing about transferring goodness through touch," said Hannah Laine, a party participant and Priddis' girlfriend,"and it's not something to be trifled with."
Scott Sommerdorf | The Salt Lake Tribune Evana Tuttle makes a heart symbol to emphasize what a great time she had as she takes her turn as each participant describes their experience at the end of "cuddle party" - a regular meet-up that happens in Utah, where strangers get together and cuddle in a nonsexual way, Friday, July, 31, 2015. Joe Tuttle is at left, and Tim Longwell at right.
Scott Sommerdorf | The Salt Lake Tribune While Joe Tuttle and Melissa Jones cuddle at left, Hannah Laine and Jeff Cardon are at right during a "cuddle party" - a regular meet-up that happens in Utah, where strangers get together and cuddle in a nonsexual way, Friday, July, 31, 2015.
Scott Sommerdorf | The Salt Lake Tribune Facilitator Rick Priddis gets a kiss on the hand from girlfriend Hannah Laine as she thanks him at the end of "cuddle party" - a regular meet-up that happens in Utah, where strangers get together and cuddle in a nonsexual way, Friday, July, 31, 2015.
Scott Sommerdorf | The Salt Lake Tribune Tim Longwell laughs as he describes his St. Patrick's Day-themed onesie during a "cuddle party" - a regular meet-up that happens in Utah, where strangers get together and cuddle in a nonsexual way, Friday, July, 31, 2015. Doug Roberts is at right.
Scott Sommerdorf | The Salt Lake Tribune Joe and Evana Tuttle embrace at the end of "cuddle party" - a regular meet-up that happens in Utah, where strangers get together and cuddle in a nonsexual way, Friday, July, 31, 2015.
Scott Sommerdorf | The Salt Lake Tribune Hannah Laine pauses to fight off crying as she describes how special the experience was for her. She described in the post-party discussion that she felt very strongly that the healing touch she is able to impart is an important part of the "cuddle party" experience. Cuddle Party is a regular meet-up that happens in Utah, where strangers get together and cuddle in a nonsexual way, Friday, July, 31, 2015.
Scott Sommerdorf | The Salt Lake Tribune Doug Roberts, top and Emily Roberts met during another cuddle party, and now she is expecting. "Cuddle party" is a regular meet-up that happens in Utah, where strangers get together and cuddle in a nonsexual way, Friday, July, 31, 2015.
Scott Sommerdorf | The Salt Lake Tribune Rick Priddis demonstrates that if anyone has any issues or questions, that they just raise their hand and he will help them, while discussing the basic rules and structure of during the beginning of the "cuddle party" he hosts in Lindon, Utah. "Cuddle Party" is a regular meet-up that happens in Utah, where strangers get together and cuddle in a nonsexual way, Friday, July, 31, 2015.
Scott Sommerdorf | The Salt Lake Tribune Facilitator Rick Priddis leads the group in song at the end of "cuddle party" - a regular meet-up that happens in Utah, where strangers get together and cuddle in a nonsexual way, Friday, July, 31, 2015.
Scott Sommerdorf | The Salt Lake Tribune Rick Priddis laughs while discussing the basic rules and structure of during the beginning of the "cuddle party" he hosts in Lindon, Utah. "Cuddle Party" is a regular meet-up that happens in Utah, where strangers get together and cuddle in a nonsexual way, Friday, July, 31, 2015.
Scott Sommerdorf | The Salt Lake Tribune One of the first exercises the group did was this "spoon train" during "cuddle party" - a regular meet-up that happens in Utah, where strangers get together and cuddle in a nonsexual way, Friday, July, 31, 2015.
Scott Sommerdorf | The Salt Lake Tribune Facilitator Rick Priddis has the basic rules of the "Cuddle Party" visible for all to see. He pinter these out while discussing the basic rules and structure of during the beginning of the "cuddle party" he hosts in Lindon, Utah. "Cuddle Party" is a regular meet-up that happens in Utah, where strangers get together and cuddle in a nonsexual way, Friday, July, 31, 2015.
Scott Sommerdorf | The Salt Lake Tribune Jeff Cardon strokes Jenny Evans' hair during the "spoon train" at the beginning stages of the "cuddle party" - a regular meet-up that happens in Utah, where strangers get together and cuddle in a nonsexual way, Friday, July, 31, 2015.
Scott Sommerdorf | The Salt Lake Tribune Hannah Laine hugs Tim Longwell, who was the fashion hit of the party with his St.Patrick's Day themed onesie. The group started the "cuddle party" event with hugs. Cuddle Party is a regular meet-up that happens in Utah, where strangers get together and cuddle in a nonsexual way, Friday, July, 31, 2015.
Scott Sommerdorf | The Salt Lake Tribune Hannah Laine, center, has her scalp massaged by Evana Tuttle while massaging Tim Longwell's head during a "cuddle party" - a regular meet-up that happens in Utah, where strangers get together and cuddle in a nonsexual way, Friday, July, 31, 2015.
Scott Sommerdorf | The Salt Lake Tribune Scott Afrin has his beard stroked by Pam Bradford during a "cuddle party" - a regular meet-up that happens in Utah, where strangers get together and cuddle in a nonsexual way, Friday, July, 31, 2015.
Scott Sommerdorf | The Salt Lake Tribune Tim Longwell has his head massaged by Hannah Laine during a "cuddle party" - a regular meet-up that happens in Utah, where strangers get together and cuddle in a nonsexual way, Friday, July, 31, 2015.
Scott Sommerdorf | The Salt Lake Tribune Scott Afrin, left, and Doug Roberts, right, hug Pam Bradford as Roberts arrived at the "cuddle party" - a regular meet-up that happens in Utah, where strangers get together and cuddle in a nonsexual way, Friday, July, 31, 2015.
Scott Sommerdorf | The Salt Lake Tribune Joe Tuttle, left foreground, and Amber Van Dusen massage each other's feet, while Scott Nelsen and Kori Keylon are on the couch during a "cuddle party" - a regular meet-up that happens in Utah, where strangers get together and cuddle in a nonsexual way, Friday, July, 31, 2015.
Scott Sommerdorf | The Salt Lake Tribune Pam Bradford and Joe Tuttle during a "cuddle party" - a regular meet-up that happens in Utah, where strangers get together and cuddle in a nonsexual way, Friday, July, 31, 2015.
Scott Sommerdorf | The Salt Lake Tribune Tim Longwell, left, Jenny Evans, and Scott Afrin, right during a "cuddle party" - a regular meet-up that happens in Utah, where strangers get together and cuddle in a nonsexual way, Friday, July, 31, 2015.
Scott Sommerdorf | The Salt Lake Tribune Scott Afrin has his hair stroked by Jenny Evans during during "cuddle party" - a regular meet-up that happens in Utah, where strangers get together and cuddle in a nonsexual way, Friday, July, 31, 2015.
Scott Sommerdorf | The Salt Lake Tribune Hannah Laine massages Jeff Cardon's head during "cuddle party" - a regular meet-up that happens in Utah, where strangers get together and cuddle in a nonsexual way, Friday, July, 31, 2015.