This is an archived article that was published on sltrib.com in 2016, and information in the article may be outdated. It is provided only for personal research purposes and may not be reprinted.

In the 20-plus years I have worked for The Salt Lake Tribune, ownership of the paper has changed several times. Each transfer of power has been cause for concern on my part.

What if the new owners didn't like my column, or even me personally? What if — and this is really conceited — they spent millions of dollars for the sole purpose of shutting me up?

From our earliest days of wandering the savanna to the cubicle farms of today, change has always been worrisome to human beings — a pride of lions is taking up residence around our favorite tree, or a corporate downsizing team is meeting with the owners.

The effects of this stress range from mild anxiety to hopping about and screaming as if on fire. All of this is treatable by medication, alcohol or some form of physical restraint.

We've all been hit by a huge change this past week. We have a new president who will, depending on your own bias, make America super great again or immediately begin hanging LGBT people and anyone who ever filed a sexual harassment claim.

As stressful or jubilant as this state of affairs may be to you, I'd like to bring up a more pressing matter, one that causes our political state of affairs to pale by comparison.

The vast majority of all humanity that has ever existed or will exist is going to hell.

Whether or not you're one of them depends entirely on the version of god in which you believe to be the correct one. Based strictly on the odds, there's every reason to believe that you got it wrong.

Christians, Muslims, Jews, pagans, atheists, Buddhists, whatever; there are more religions in the world than convenience stores in America. In most cases, you didn't choose the one you're in. It chose you by circumstances of geography, birth, time, etc.

Sheer odds mean the vast majority of us are going to spend eternity suffering such agonizing indignities as having our internal organs yanked out through our bottoms every five minutes, or something else worth lamenting forever.

I'm Mormon. What do I care if Donald Trump is president when faced with the more horrible fact that most of my loved ones are going to be scattered throughout the multi-level reward program we've been promised?

If you're religious in any manner, shouldn't taxes and the return of discrimination be the least of your worries? Conversely, you can be right about the president-elect and still end up in hell.

If you're thinking, "I'm not worried because I belong to the right faith," then you need to think again. The vast majority of us believe in our particular god based on less historically factual information than we just used to elect (or not) a president.

Presidents, like gods, seem to take a long time to prove themselves worthy of our faith. The trick is in knowing what to do with ourselves in the meantime.

This goes for non-believers as well. If this life is all we have, it makes just as much sense then to spend it improving the lot around us.

We can start by being the best people we can be and hope it's enough to stave off doom. If nothing else, we'll be better people.

Robert Kirby can be reached at rkirby@sltrib.com or facebook.com/stillnotpatbagley.