This is an archived article that was published on sltrib.com in 2016, and information in the article may be outdated. It is provided only for personal research purposes and may not be reprinted.

There was frost on my windshield Thursday morning. Real frost. Not the kind that disappears when the windshield wipers come on. I had to get out and laboriously scrape viewing slits with my keys.

It was a warning sign. But like most warning signs, I'll ignore it until it's too late to do anything about it other than curse and wish I were dead.

The frost was a sign that it's time to winterize. We have a finite number of days left before the temperature drops below freezing and the only way to get to work is by tailgating a UDOT snowplow.

I made a mental list of things that need covering or dragging inside before the snow flies — hoses, sprinklers, garden, patio furniture, barbecue grill, bird feeders, bowling ball pile, etc. It sounds like a lot of work, which is why I'll blow it off until it's too late.

That doesn't mean you have to do the same. In fact, I've prepared an important — and highly general — winterizing check list for your convenience.

Hoses • It's not a good idea to leave these out all winter. If the water left in them doesn't freeze and crack the hose, bugs of all sorts will seek refuge in them. Last year, when one of my sprinklers didn't work, I found the head of a praying mantis sticking out of it.

Sprinklers • The same thing applies to underground sprinklers. Turn off the water to them and blow them out with a compressor before the freeze. Otherwise, when you turn the water back on in the spring, the heads will pop off and the lines will leak. That can be expensive.

Pets • Believing your pets belong outside in the freezing cold because they have fur only sounds like a great idea if your pet is a muskox or polar bear, or you're an @#%*&!. Make sure Muffin and Ralph have places to get out of the weather, somewhere they can curl up for warmth.

Garden/plants • Cover any plants susceptible to frost damage. Now is a good time to throw mulch into the garden, including anyone you may have run through a wood chipper. By spring, it/they will be well incorporated into the soil.

Bird feeders • If you like birds, swap out the hummingbird feeders with suet feeders. These should be placed high enough that the dog (particularly idiot Labradors) won't pull them down and eat them. A dog bloated up like a zeppelin with gas and diarrhea is not something you want to be trapped inside with for the winter.

Tools • Bring them inside. Last winter, while clearing sidewalks with a snowblower, I ran over a small garden trowel, 18 feet of drip line, and a socket driver I'd been looking for all summer.

Patio furniture • It's customary to bring in the cushions at least. But that's only if you don't want mice living in them.

Rodents • Speaking of mice, search your home and garage for mice droppings. If you find them, find the holes they used to come inside. Set traps or get a cat.

Bowling balls • Many of you will not have 62 of these piled up in the backyard. If you do, make sure the finger holes are turned toward the ground so that they won't collect water and/or spider eggs.

That's all I can think of for now. Sadly, if you're anything at all like me, thinking about it is probably all you'll do.

Robert Kirby can be reached at rkirby@sltrib.com or facebook.com/stillnotpatbagley.