This is an archived article that was published on sltrib.com in 2015, and information in the article may be outdated. It is provided only for personal research purposes and may not be reprinted.

If you could have one superpower, what would it be? Flying? Invisibility? Strength?

It doesn't even have to be super. It could just be an exceptional skill.

I ask because last week's column about wishing I had the power to do something struck a nerve in a reader.

Her: "Killing flies just by looking at them? That's the stupidist [sic] thing I ever heard. If yore [sic] going to wish for something[,] wish bigger[,] like for mindreading or to be the Hulk."

Sorry, no. I've given the superpower thing nearly six decades of thought. Killing flies (or any flying bug) merely by looking at them is enough for me. I'm a simple guy. I couldn't handle anything more super than that. Also, I really hate flies.

So the question still stands. What superpower would you choose? I don't mean superhero characters either. You can't pick Superman or Green Lantern or Wonder Woman, with all their multiple powers. You only get the one special skill.

For example, say you had the superpower to cause a person to spontaneously explode anywhere on the planet — and no one would ever suspect you of doing it.

All you had to do was close your eyes and whisper, "Kanye West-ala-kaboom." Wherever Yeezus was at that very moment, he would suddenly become a 50-foot patch of ground yak meat.

How cool would that be, eh? Think of how much good you could do for the world with that kind of power. It wouldn't have taken us 10 years to find Bin Laden, or anyone else who needed to be dead.

And therein lies the problem with superpowers — having the sense to use them wisely. Exploding people would have to be controlled, like, oh, limiting the number of times you could use it to three. You would then have to give it some real thought.

That's why I wouldn't want that power. I already have a list of over 500 people I would use it on. I'd go insane trying to narrow it down to just three. But without the restriction, I would eventually end up killing everyone who bothered me.

The thing is that whatever power you wished for — X-ray vision, calling down lightning, clairvoyance, competitive hot-dog eating — probably says a lot about the kind of person you already are.

If you wished for the ability to move things with your mind (telekinesis), how would you use it to benefit the world? Would you even bother thinking about that part?

Not me. I'd end up using a locomotive to swat flies.

People secretly into voyeurism or theft might choose X-ray vision or invisibility. Superhuman strength in someone who was bullied as a kid might just be all it takes to create a worse bully. So, you have to ask yourself what you're really after.

It's a question only truthfully asked and answered by yourself. Unfortunately, it requires complete honesty, which is something human beings suck at, despite the fact that it's not even a superpower.

I know myself well enough to admit that a little mindless insect control is about as far up the superpower chain I could go without hurting myself or someone else.

On the selfish end, I would prevent mosquitoes from buzzing me and my family. On the benevolent side, I could rent myself out as a bug zapper for garden parties and outdoor weddings.

Robert Kirby can be reached at rkirby@sltrib.com or facebook.com/stillnotpatbagley.