This is an archived article that was published on sltrib.com in 2014, and information in the article may be outdated. It is provided only for personal research purposes and may not be reprinted.

My wife and I took our grandkids to see Santa on Saturday. Vicki Frech and Jan Bates invited us out to the foot of Shaggy Mountain in Herriman for a pre-Christmas appearance of Claus.

Incidentally, this was the real Santa. It would not be a cheesy mall impostor in a red suit, ratty beard, and sitting in a sleigh that clearly hadn't moved in a month.

According to granddaughters Lyndie and Faith, situation is one of the primary methods of discerning the real Santa from all the commercial fakes. If Santa's already in place when you arrive, chances are it's a setup.

However, if Claus is seen arriving and departing, there's a better chance that he's the genuine article. Especially if he is pulled by reindeer. And one of them has a glowing nose. And there are presents. Not just candy.

When I broke the news that Santa would be riding a horse this time, they were instantly suspicious. A horse? Why was Santa riding a horse when he had a perfectly good sleigh?

I told them to look at the roofs of houses. Did they see any snow for Santa to land on? So it only made sense that he couldn't arrive by sleigh. They seemed mollified.

But then I blew it by adding that they'd already know about Santa's real sleigh problems if they ever bothered to watch the news.

Me: "See, girls, Santa was on a practice run over Syria last week when he was hit by 14.5mm fire from a quad-mounted, Russian-made ZPU-4. Blitzen lost a leg, and the sleigh was—."

Them: "GRAMMY!!"

OK, that was inappropriate. No one likes to have their faith trifled with in the hours leading up to the holiest — and costliest — day of the year.

I remember what it was like when I was a true believer. Kids pick up on stuff that threatens tradition. But for all the intensity of my orthodox belief in Santa, I never once saw him arrive in a sleigh, never mind one being pulled by magic reindeer.

Back in the day I had complete out-of-body experiences watching St. Nick arrive by fire truck, police car, ambulance, armored personnel carrier, stagecoach, motorcycle, monster truck, and once even by parachute.

Today I realize that the last one was a really stupid stunt. I don't even want to think about how the rest of my life (and a hundred other kids' lives) would have gone had Santa's chute failed to open.

Arriving at the Bates ranch we were directed to the place one would expect to find Santa Claus if he was arriving by horse — the barn.

A mob of anxious children and camera-armed parents soon gathered. We had just enough time for hot chocolate and cookies before Santa came trotting up on a horse.

I watched my grandkids for any signs of doubt that what they were seeing wasn't genuine. When they turned to me for confirmation that it was the real Santa, I saw my wife narrowly watching me.

What I wanted to say was, "Let's get the horse to buck him off and find out." What I actually said was, "That is definitely a real horse. See? There's poop coming out of it and everything."

There was no arguing with that. With confirmation established, the kids waited in line to sit on Santa's lap. They weren't going to pass up the opportunity to tell the real Santa what they wanted for Christmas.

Waiting and listening, I realized that telling my grandkids what they wanted to hear was going to cost me at least another 500 bucks.

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