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Robert Kirby

Last Updated Nov 30, 2016 09:57PM

What’s the worst Christmas gift you ever bought for your significant other? If you’ve only been married or together a short time, the answer may be tough. It takes time to screw up this bad. For those who have some real miles on their relationship, the answer is easy — unless, of course, they’re liars or possess abnormally high instincts for survival. People like us know what we’ve done. I sit next to Paul Rolly in the newsroom. I asked him what he considered to be the worst Xmas gift …

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  • Robert Kirby Kirby: Take a minute to be ungrateful — that’s enough
    Stupid pilgrims. Thanks to them, we have Thanksgiving. I don’t mean the actual feeling of gratitude for the positive elements of our lives. That’s a...
    Updated Nov 27 2016 09:15 am   |     |   Share
  • Kirby’s Disturbing History: A stolen watchdog, escaped monkey and missing pilot
    This week in 1916: Salt Lake City police Chief Parley White announces the arrests of more 200 people on Commercial (now Regent) Street, 125 of whom ar...

    Updated Nov 25 2016 09:34 pm   |     |   Share
  • (Courtesy photo)   |   Robert Kirby getting some Thanksgiving training with his granddaughter Hallie. Kirby: Plenty to be thankful for when pie goes awry
    My fondest memory of Thanksgiving is the smell of pies cooking. My grandmother made them. So did Mom. My wife, who surpasses them all, spent 48 hours...
    Updated Nov 24 2016 10:50 am   |     |   Share
  • (Steve Griffin  |  Tribune file photo)   Sam Kastansis is arrested at his home in West Jordan in Nov. 1991.  He was later acquitted of killing his wife and children. What happened here? Man shoots self while beating wounded rabbit; AG bemoans prostitutes in State Hospital; turkeys at 37 cents per pound
    November 1916: While hunting rabbits at Fairfield, Bolgon Bloomfield, 17, Salt Lake City, manages to shoot himself in the shoulder with a shotgun, the...

    Updated Nov 25 2016 08:46 pm   |     |   Share


MORE ROBERT KIRBY COLUMNS
  • (Rick Egan  |  The Salt Lake Tribune)    Robert Kirby herds cattle in Range Creek Canyon, on a cattle drive from the desert lowlands to the high mountain pastures of the Tavaputs Plateau, Saturday, June 14, 2014 Kirby: My ‘little factory,’ my business
    I don’t remember how old I was when I figured out that God could see me naked. I do recall that it came as something of a shock. Even as a kid, it fel...
    Updated Nov 20 2016 09:28 am   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: Things are changing, but staying the same
    I’ve always loved history. Not the exhaustively researched and analyzed events like the Civil War, Renaissance, Ming dynasty or the Bronze Age. I’m no...
    Updated Nov 18 2016 01:17 pm   |     |   Share
  • (Francisco Kjolseth  |  The Salt Lake Tribune)   Dressed as the devil, ’James the Preacher’ who would not give his real name because he claims he has received death threats stands outside of the Conference Center as he protests the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints who were attending the first session 180th semiannual General Conference on Saturday, Oct. 2, 2010. Salt Lake City Oct. 2, 2010. Kirby: Don’t worry too much about the election — most of us are going to hell
    In the 20-plus years I have worked for The Salt Lake Tribune, ownership of the paper has changed several times. Each transfer of power has been cause ...
    Updated Nov 18 2016 07:57 pm   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: Don’t let your garbage ruin your life
    On one of the last days of sixth grade, I watched a classmate empty a large collection of folded notes from her girlfriends into the wastebasket. Mos...
    Updated Nov 12 2016 10:25 am   |     |   Share
  • President-elect Donald Trump gives his acceptance speech during his election night rally, Wednesday, Nov. 9, 2016, in New York. (AP Photo/John Locher) Kirby: We elected a moron — we elected ourselves
    I’m writing this on Tuesday, Election Day. It’s 10:36 in the morning. I imagine the polling places are filling up. How fortunate I am to not be going....
    Updated Nov 09 2016 06:32 pm   |     |   Share
  • (Leah Hogsten  |  Tribune file photo)   Temple Square in Salt Lake City on Friday, November 28, 2014.. Kirby: Why haven’t I been excommunicated yet?
    Except for a few years in the ’70s, I have followed the tenets of Mormonism more or less (mostly less) faithfully my entire life. I’ve been a missiona...
    Updated Nov 06 2016 11:13 am   |     |   Share
  • (Al Hartmann  |  The Salt Lake Tribune)    Robert Kirby, eyeballs a Western Spotted Orb Weaver spider caught on a spider hunt just outside the visitors center at Antelope Island State Park.  Not to worry, they aren’t poisonous.  They are everywhere in the vegetation and rocks when you start to look. The fourth-annual SpiderFest at Antelope Island will be a chance to learn and get up close and personal with some arachnids. Kirby: Getting punched isn’t the worst thing that’s ever happened to my eye
    When I was a cop, I got punched in the eye one night while wearing hard contact lenses. My eyeball suffered a slight cut that turned it the color of a...
    Updated Nov 04 2016 10:05 pm   |     |   Share
  • |  Courtesy Robert Kirby  Tribune columnist Robert Kirby excavates a shard of glass, circa 1968, from his arm. Kirby: What’s in your time capsule?
    When Gov. Gary Herbert opened the time capsule removed from one of the columns at the State Capitol last month, the contents were disappointing. Cutti...
    Updated Nov 03 2016 02:36 pm   |     |   Share
  • (Al Hartmann  |  The Salt Lake Tribune)    Mormon handcart reenactors march in the Day’s of 47 parade in downtown Salt Lake City Monday July 25 celebrating Utah’s heritage and spirit. Kirby: If there’s a Mormon mafia, I want in
    Fox Business Network personality Lou Dobbs posted Saturday this statement about presidential contender Evan McMullin on Twitter: “Look Deeper, He’s n...
    Updated Oct 29 2016 09:45 pm   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: Finding a new doctor is bad for my health
    When this newspaper was purchased by Paul Huntsman, a vast sense of relief settled over the newsroom. No longer was our survival in doubt. Hope blosso...
    Updated Oct 28 2016 06:17 pm   |     |   Share
  • (Al Hartmann  |  The Salt Lake Tribune)    Robert Kirby, eyeballs a Western Spotted Orb Weaver spider caught on a spider hunt just outside the visitors center at Antelope Island State Park.  Not to worry, they aren’t poisonous.  They are everywhere in the vegetation and rocks when you start to look. The fourth-annual SpiderFest at Antelope Island will be a chance to learn and get up close and personal with some arachnids. Kirby: Getting punched isn’t the worst thing that’s ever happened to my eye
    When I was a cop, I got punched in the eye one night while wearing hard contact lenses. My eyeball suffered a slight cut that turned it the color of a...
    Updated Nov 04 2016 10:05 pm   |     |   Share
  • |  Courtesy Robert Kirby  Tribune columnist Robert Kirby excavates a shard of glass, circa 1968, from his arm. Kirby: What’s in your time capsule?
    When Gov. Gary Herbert opened the time capsule removed from one of the columns at the State Capitol last month, the contents were disappointing. Cutti...
    Updated Nov 03 2016 02:36 pm   |     |   Share
  • (Al Hartmann  |  The Salt Lake Tribune)    Mormon handcart reenactors march in the Day’s of 47 parade in downtown Salt Lake City Monday July 25 celebrating Utah’s heritage and spirit. Kirby: If there’s a Mormon mafia, I want in
    Fox Business Network personality Lou Dobbs posted Saturday this statement about presidential contender Evan McMullin on Twitter: “Look Deeper, He’s n...
    Updated Oct 29 2016 09:45 pm   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: Finding a new doctor is bad for my health
    When this newspaper was purchased by Paul Huntsman, a vast sense of relief settled over the newsroom. No longer was our survival in doubt. Hope blosso...
    Updated Oct 28 2016 06:17 pm   |     |   Share
  • Kirby: The future never looks bright
    As the days of my LDS mission wound down in April 1975, I started thinking about my future. It seemed a good idea, given that most of the authority fi...
    Updated Oct 27 2016 08:36 am   |     |   Share
  • Courtesy  |  LDS Church  Elder Boyd K. Packer was sustained as a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles on April 6, 1970. Kirby: I’m God-fearing, not church-leader-fearing
    For reasons almost certainly particular to my own psychology, I’m not worried about LDS Church leaders. What? No, not even the really important ones l...
    Updated Oct 23 2016 10:12 am   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: There’s nothing a little soap can’t %#@*& teach you
    When I was 10 years old, I called my younger brother an [deleted]. He carried this to the Old Man, who immediately summoned me into the house where he...
    Updated Oct 21 2016 11:03 pm   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: You can’t go home again
    It was every bit as enjoyable as I had hoped. Tuesday was my parents’ last day in the house they dragged us to in 1970. It was difficult for them to p...
    Updated Oct 20 2016 01:47 pm   |     |   Share
  • (Trent Nelson  |  The Salt Lake Tribune)   The First Presidency of the LDS Church, Henry B. Eyring, President Thomas S. Monson and Dieter F. Uchtdorf, sing a hymn at the General Priesthood Session of the LDS Church’s 186th Semiannual General Conference in Salt Lake City earlier this month. Kirby: Why not elect Mormon leaders?
    Last week in church, the bishop of our LDS ward read a letter from the first presidency, encouraging us to take part in the election of the next U.S. ...
    Updated Oct 15 2016 09:31 pm   |     |   Share
  • (AP Photo/Mary Altaffer) Kirby: The Internet never forgets
    In 1965, a 59-year-old section hand for the Great Western Railroad was arrested in Wendover for murder. Melvin J. Hurley made an offhand remark to a l...
    Updated Oct 14 2016 08:59 pm   |     |   Share
  • Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump speaks during a campaign rally, Wednesday, Oct. 5, 2016, in Reno, Nev. (AP Photo/ Evan Vucci) Kirby: Clinton and Trump are both bad — but Trump is worse
    Let me get this out first. I am no fan of Donald Trump. Not only will I not vote for him, it bothers me that molecules that he may have once exhaled m...
    Updated Oct 12 2016 10:09 pm   |     |   Share
  • (Scott Sommerdorf   |  The Salt Lake Tribune)     A man dressed like the Devil waved at conference attendees as they left the morning session of 186th Semiannual General Conference of the LDS church last week. Kirby: Wait — there’s still a chance the devil can win?
    I watched the leaked LDS Church tapes until I got bored, maybe 10 minutes tops before the videos took on all the charm of a high council sacrament mee...
    Updated Oct 09 2016 03:43 pm   |     |   Share