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Robert Kirby

Last Updated Jun 28, 2017 11:38AM

One of the few positive talents I have is that I can sleep through anything. Well, except for being touched. Touch me while I’m asleep and I’m not only instantly awake but seriously pissed. So, fireworks set off by selfish …

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  • (Francisco Kjolseth | The Salt Lake Tribune)   Robert Kirby Kirby: Would I denounce my faith to save my neck? You bet, in a heartbeat
    Assuming you have a religious faith, what would it take to get you to renounce it? You would have to swear that your testimony or witness was absolute...
    Updated Jun 27 2017 08:29 am   |     |   Share
  • (Francisco Kjolseth | The Salt Lake Tribune)   Robert Kirby Kirby: Creative constipation can be cured
    Becoming blocked is a hazard of my profession. Commonly referred to as “writer’s block,” it’s a condition in which whatever passes for the mind of a w...
    Updated Jun 24 2017 01:19 pm   |     |   Share
  • (Francisco Kjolseth | The Salt Lake Tribune)   Trib staff portraits. Robert Kirby. Kirby: Before getting that snake tattoo or lip piercing, ask yourself why you’re doing it
    Last week at a barbecue, an acquaintance asked those present if we thought he should get his arm “sleeved.” Opinions varied. Three said yes, two said...
    Updated Jun 23 2017 08:34 pm   |     |   Share
  • (Francisco Kjolseth | The Salt Lake Tribune)   Trib staff portraits. Robert Kirby. Kirby: I thought I’d messed up by becoming a dad. I was wrong — mostly.
    One day in late 1975, my wife announced, “Guess what?” I don’t recall how many wrong guesses it took before she got fed up and just told me that she...
    Updated Jun 18 2017 09:41 am   |     |   Share


MORE ROBERT KIRBY COLUMNS
  • (Francisco Kjolseth | The Salt Lake Tribune)   Trib staff portraits. Robert Kirby. Kirby: The stupidest — and most inescapable — vacation idea I ever heard
    My wife decided we could afford a long vacation this year. I was suspicious at first. We don’t always (make that rarely) have the same idea of what co...
    Updated Jun 17 2017 09:14 am   |     |   Share
  • Photo courtesy Jeanie Wilcox Jensen Jett Christensen herds cows on Tavaputs Plateau. Kirby: Ranch work is child’s play for these cowboy preschoolers
    Tavaputs Ranch • Last week, I worked with the seventh generation of Wilcox-Jensen cowboys. Although I’m older by at least three of those generations,...
    Updated Jun 15 2017 09:26 am   |     |   Share
  • (Francisco Kjolseth | The Salt Lake Tribune)   Trib staff portraits. Robert Kirby. Kirby: Why can’t old prophets’ minds, bodies slip a bit? Hell, they’re only human
    Although I’m Mormon, it doesn’t trouble me that President Thomas S. Monson, the prophet of the LDS Church, is too frail to go to the office. Hell, he’...
    Updated Jun 11 2017 05:51 am   |     |   Share
  • (Francisco Kjolseth | The Salt Lake Tribune)   Trib staff portraits. Robert Kirby. Kirby: Confessions of a white, male Mormon’s battles with his inner racist
    The first time I ever felt discriminated against because of the color of my skin was in high school. I had a crush on a girl of another race. A seriou...
    Updated Jun 10 2017 09:15 am   |     |   Share
  • Courtesy of Sonny Dyle.  Picture taken from drone above Tavaputs Plateau as a herd is moved to its summer grazing pasture. Kirby: Hold your horses — there’s a better way to herd wayward cows: drones
    Tavaputs Ranch • Thanks to an emergency last week, Sonny and I may have developed a new way to herd cows. We’ll happily accept any awards later. Rig...
    Updated Jun 07 2017 11:38 pm   |     |   Share
  • (Francisco Kjolseth | The Salt Lake Tribune)   Trib staff portraits. Robert Kirby. Kirby: Welcome to the Church of the Holy Fist, where the sin is beaten out of you
    The only time I ever got knocked around in church was by my father. He had zero tolerance for irreverence. He knew it was a sign of the demon lurking ...
    Updated Jun 04 2017 01:05 pm   |     |   Share
  • (Francisco Kjolseth | The Salt Lake Tribune)   Trib staff portraits. Robert Kirby. Kirby: Let God fix climate change? Sure — one giant flood, coming up
    Ever worry about climate change? I don’t. I figure I’ll be dead long before Wendover becomes a beach town. It’s selfish, I know. But I’m trying to be ...
    Updated Jun 02 2017 10:55 pm   |     |   Share
  • (Francisco Kjolseth | The Salt Lake Tribune)   Trib staff portraits. Robert Kirby. Kirby: It’s my birthday and I’ll reminisce if I want to
    Today is my birthday. I’m 64 years old. I didn’t expect to live this long. By all rights — and lots of wrong choices — I should be dead by now. It wo...
    Updated Jun 01 2017 07:17 am   |     |   Share
  • (Francisco Kjolseth | The Salt Lake Tribune)   Trib staff portraits. Robert Kirby. Kirby: Home teaching — Mormonism’s answer to Mister Rogers
    Last Saturday, I dragged a shovel over to the home of a single mother and helped move 10 yards of topsoil to various parts of her yard. I almost died....
    Updated Jun 02 2017 09:56 pm   |     |   Share
  • (Francisco Kjolseth | The Salt Lake Tribune)   Trib staff portraits. Robert Kirby. Kirby: It’s moving day — if only I could carry just the pillows
    As a military brat, I grew accustomed to abruptly picking up and moving to some faraway place from whence we never returned. Along the way, I lost fr...
    Updated May 26 2017 11:10 pm   |     |   Share
  • (Francisco Kjolseth | The Salt Lake Tribune)   Trib staff portraits. Robert Kirby. Kirby: Let God fix climate change? Sure — one giant flood, coming up
    Ever worry about climate change? I don’t. I figure I’ll be dead long before Wendover becomes a beach town. It’s selfish, I know. But I’m trying to be ...
    Updated Jun 02 2017 10:55 pm   |     |   Share
  • (Francisco Kjolseth | The Salt Lake Tribune)   Trib staff portraits. Robert Kirby. Kirby: It’s my birthday and I’ll reminisce if I want to
    Today is my birthday. I’m 64 years old. I didn’t expect to live this long. By all rights — and lots of wrong choices — I should be dead by now. It wo...
    Updated Jun 01 2017 07:17 am   |     |   Share
  • (Francisco Kjolseth | The Salt Lake Tribune)   Trib staff portraits. Robert Kirby. Kirby: Home teaching — Mormonism’s answer to Mister Rogers
    Last Saturday, I dragged a shovel over to the home of a single mother and helped move 10 yards of topsoil to various parts of her yard. I almost died....
    Updated Jun 02 2017 09:56 pm   |     |   Share
  • (Francisco Kjolseth | The Salt Lake Tribune)   Trib staff portraits. Robert Kirby. Kirby: It’s moving day — if only I could carry just the pillows
    As a military brat, I grew accustomed to abruptly picking up and moving to some faraway place from whence we never returned. Along the way, I lost fr...
    Updated May 26 2017 11:10 pm   |     |   Share
  • (Francisco Kjolseth | The Salt Lake Tribune)   Trib staff portraits. Robert Kirby. Kirby: A birthday present for me? Chaffetz’s seat in Congress? Ah, you shouldn’t have
    I just realized that Utah Congressman Jason Chaffetz will resign at the end of next month. Yes, I know it’s been in the news for some time now. I have...
    Updated May 26 2017 10:38 pm   |     |   Share
  • (Francisco Kjolseth | The Salt Lake Tribune)   Trib staff portraits. Robert Kirby. Kirby: From Build-A-Bear to Build a Baby? The world of birth rights and birth wrongs
    One Sunday, right after my wife and I married, I sat through a Mormon priesthood lesson as the instructor decried the use of birth control. He testifi...
    Updated May 26 2017 07:25 pm   |     |   Share
  • (Francisco Kjolseth | The Salt Lake Tribune)   Trib staff portraits. Robert Kirby. Kirby: Paper route taught me the Old Man could really sling some whoppers
    I had a paper route when I was 11 years old. Every evening, I delivered the Idaho Statesman to approximately 50 homes in south Boise. I hated it. Mea...
    Updated May 20 2017 02:25 pm   |     |   Share
  • (Francisco Kjolseth | The Salt Lake Tribune)   Trib staff portraits. Robert Kirby. Kirby: Regrets? Sorry to say it, but if you’re human, you have ’em
    There’s probably not a person alive who doesn’t have regrets about his or her past. Is there anything you would like to go back and change? OK, some ...
    Updated May 17 2017 11:27 pm   |     |   Share
  • (Francisco Kjolseth | The Salt Lake Tribune)   Trib staff portraits. Robert Kirby. Kirby: My post-Scouting program for Mormon boys? Hint: It includes fire
    I possibly received an emergency call from LDS Church headquarters last week, asking for my help developing an outdoors program for older male Mormon ...
    Updated May 22 2017 03:42 pm   |     |   Share
  • (Francisco Kjolseth | The Salt Lake Tribune)   Trib staff portraits. Robert Kirby. Kirby: News anchor Shauna Lake’s DUI arrest raises question for public: Have we no shame?
    KUTV news anchor Shauna Lake is my friend and one of the most genuine and considerate people I know. So it broke my heart when she was arrested for su...
    Updated May 15 2017 02:29 pm   |     |   Share
  • Gal Gadot stars as the Amazonian princess warrior Diana, a k a  ’Wonder Woman,’ in a new movie based on the DC Comics heroine. It opens in theaters June 2. Courtesy Warner Bros. Pictures Kirby: With Wonder Woman, hairy armpits are out — silly superhero debates are in
    The internet is abuzz with fuzz, or the lack thereof. The new “Wonder Woman” film has something potentially disturbing in it. Namely, no armpit hair. ...
    Updated Jun 09 2017 01:33 pm   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be brief prayers
    In 1963, Mormon services consisted of three parts: Morning priesthood meeting, followed by Sunday school and, finally, the dreaded late afternoon sacr...
    Updated May 07 2017 09:31 am   |     |   Share