Quantcast

Robert Kirby

Last Updated Jul 25, 2016 02:06PM

Somehow, whenever I think about God, I never really get the impression that he’s a Republican. Or a Democrat, for that matter. But prayer has finally proven God is a member of the GOP, or at least a major consultant. …

Read This Article            Share

  • (Al Hartmann  |  The Salt Lake Tribune)    Wendy Wilson, Assistant Park Manager at Antelope Island State Park looks on with concern or incredulity as Tribune’s Robert Kirby tries to get the hang of sucking up tiny spiders with a medical aspirator device during a spider hunt. Kirby calls it the ’spider bong.’ The first attempt sucking up spiders he used the wrong end of the ’spider bong’ and one ended up in his mouth.  Good thing it wasn’t the poisonous kind. He actually got one here in the container instead of his mouth. The fourth-annual SpiderFest at Antelope Island will be a chance to learn,and get up close and personal with some arachnids. Kirby: Yes, I inhaled the spider
    I like spiders. I didn’t have much choice about it growing up. My mom kept tarantulas the way other people keep goldfish and parakeets. She put the h...
    Updated Jul 22 2016 10:45 pm   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: Talked off the ledge — for good
    My wife told me I can’t get on the roof anymore. This isn’t all that surprising given the sort of things I have done up there. From my roof I can hit...
    Updated Jul 20 2016 09:25 pm   |     |   Share
  • Visitors pass outside the front of a replica Noah’s Ark at the Ark Encounter theme park during a media preview day, Tuesday, July 5, 2016, in Williamstown, Ky. The long-awaited theme park based on the story of a man who got a warning from God about a worldwide flood will debut in central Kentucky this Thursday. The Christian group behind the 510 foot-long wooden ark says it will demonstrate that the stories of the Bible are true. Its construction has rankled opponents who say the attraction will be detrimental to science education. (AP Photo/John Minchillo) Kirby: Never start a fight with someone who believes in Noah’s Ark
    I’ve never seen rainstorms like the ones during my LDS mission to South America. Black clouds would roll in off the Atlantic and unload a hydro-beatin...
    Updated Jul 17 2016 09:08 am   |     |   Share
  • (Mark Thiessen  |  The Associated Press)   A sign at the National Weather Service in Anchorage, Alaska, on Tuesday informs Pokemon players that it is illegal to trespass on federal property. The staff started noticing an uptick of people in the parking lot after the location was included as a gym in the popular game. The ’Pokemon Go’ craze across the U.S. has people wandering into yards, driveways, cemeteries and even an off-limits police parking lot in search of cartoon monsters, prompting warnings that trespassers could get arrested or worse. Kirby: I’m not worried about Pokémon Go
    Pokemon Go. I’m not going to criticize it too much. Mainly because I’ve played and imagined even stupider wastes of time in my life. For those unfami...
    Updated Jul 15 2016 10:49 pm   |     |   Share


MORE ROBERT KIRBY COLUMNS
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: There’s no clever moral to a column about racism
    I became a Grantsville police officer in 1978. During my 18 months with the department, I was never accused of racism. There weren’t any black people ...
    Updated Jul 13 2016 10:28 pm   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: What I’ve heard from Mormon leaders since I officiated a gay wedding
    Tomorrow will be exactly a month since I officiated at a gay wedding. I married Andrew Romriell to Jedidiah Smith in a rainstorm. I’m happy to report ...
    Updated Jul 10 2016 09:17 am   |     |   Share
  • Courtesy of Dan Ruderma/AP Adeline and Augusta Van Buren at the United States-Mexico border during their cross-country motorcycle trip. A century ago, when the automobile was in its infancy and most roads in the United States weren’t paved, the intrepid sisters from Brooklyn embarked on a remarkable journey, a 4,000-mile trek across the country, aboard two Indian motorcycles. Kirby: We’re still clothes-minded when it comes to women
    On July 4, 1916, 24-year-old Augusta and 22-year-old Adeline Van Buren set off from New York for the Pacific coast on a pair of 1000cc Indian Powerplu...
    Updated Jul 09 2016 12:32 pm   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: Deciding the fate of sleeping idiots
    Tuesday, July 5, 3:46 a.m. — I’m wearing my jams and standing on the porch of a neighbor, trying to decide if I should ring the doorbell. The night ...
    Updated Jul 06 2016 10:30 pm   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: How to make grudges and alienate people
    Last Sunday, I was mulling over one of my Life Ledger. I do this when I have to sit still longer than five minutes in an environment that promises to ...
    Updated Jul 03 2016 11:54 am   |     |   Share
  • (Francisco Kjolseth | The Salt Lake Tribune)   Revelers light off fireworks along the Pioneer Day parade route on Thursday night, July 23, 2015. Kirby: Nothing makes people stupider than fireworks
    The first fire I ever set (intentionally) was a kitchen chair in our apartment when my father was stationed in Spain. I was 7. That’s young, but I rem...
    Updated Jul 02 2016 09:56 am   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: A Trump supporter, an El Salvadorian maid and a columnist walk into a Montana hotel ...
    A couple of weeks ago in Butte, Mont., I watched an elderly couple have a full-on public meltdown in the hallway of a motel. We had driven 500 miles,...
    Updated Jun 30 2016 09:41 am   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: Wait, did we miss the second coming?
    A few days ago, I dug out my LDS patriarchal blessing to see how I was doing. Traditionally given to Mormon teens, the blessings are intended to be ...
    Updated Jul 07 2015 11:36 pm   |     |   Share
  • (Trent Nelson  |  The Salt Lake Tribune)   The Christus, a statue of Jesus Christ on display at The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints’ Temple Square. Kirby: Pre-mortal resistance was futile
    One of the basic tenets of Mormon theology is that all human beings are the spirit children of God. We were created long before being born here on Ear...
    Updated Jun 26 2016 12:38 pm   |     |   Share
  • (Francisco Kjolseth | The Salt Lake Tribune)   Utah school districts are unfazed by new federal rules regarding bathroom accommodations for transgender students. Mount Jordan Middle School in Sandy has unisex-bathrooms located in every hallway. Kirby: Worried about transgender people in your bathroom? I’ve seen worse
    After 63 years on this planet, I have a lot of public restroom experience. This experience is rapidly increasing along with my age and incontinency. ...
    Updated Jun 25 2016 09:52 am   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: A Trump supporter, an El Salvadorian maid and a columnist walk into a Montana hotel ...
    A couple of weeks ago in Butte, Mont., I watched an elderly couple have a full-on public meltdown in the hallway of a motel. We had driven 500 miles,...
    Updated Jun 30 2016 09:41 am   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: Wait, did we miss the second coming?
    A few days ago, I dug out my LDS patriarchal blessing to see how I was doing. Traditionally given to Mormon teens, the blessings are intended to be ...
    Updated Jul 07 2015 11:36 pm   |     |   Share
  • (Trent Nelson  |  The Salt Lake Tribune)   The Christus, a statue of Jesus Christ on display at The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints’ Temple Square. Kirby: Pre-mortal resistance was futile
    One of the basic tenets of Mormon theology is that all human beings are the spirit children of God. We were created long before being born here on Ear...
    Updated Jun 26 2016 12:38 pm   |     |   Share
  • (Francisco Kjolseth | The Salt Lake Tribune)   Utah school districts are unfazed by new federal rules regarding bathroom accommodations for transgender students. Mount Jordan Middle School in Sandy has unisex-bathrooms located in every hallway. Kirby: Worried about transgender people in your bathroom? I’ve seen worse
    After 63 years on this planet, I have a lot of public restroom experience. This experience is rapidly increasing along with my age and incontinency. ...
    Updated Jun 25 2016 09:52 am   |     |   Share
  • (Chris Detrick  |  The Salt Lake Tribune)   Robert Kirby aims a pool ball cannon at a clothes washer in Rush Valley in 2015. Kirby: Go ahead, control my guns
    Fair warning. Today’s column is about gun control. It may cause anger in some readers, particularly those whose views are extreme on either side of th...
    Updated Jun 22 2016 10:27 pm   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: Thanks, Dad, for never killing me
    Being that it’s Father’s Day, I should probably reflect on the legacy my own father has (and hasn’t) passed onto me. In 1953 it was popular in the U....
    Updated Jun 20 2016 03:53 pm   |     |   Share
  • (Chris Detrick  |  The Salt Lake Tribune)   The remains of the concrete beam after a bowling ball was dropped onto it during an experiment at Judge Memorial High School last month. Dr. Dasch Houdeshel’s students were testing the structural strength of concrete beams built with and without tin cans inside of them by dropping a 10 pound bowling ball from different heights onto them. The concrete beams without cans survived a 10 lb bowling ball dropped from 8 feet, where the beams with cans broke in half from a drop of as low as six inches. Kirby: I have the right to bear bowling balls
    My family — all 17 of us — survived a trip to Alberta, Canada. We arrived home battered and exhausted last week. It’s taken this long to unpack, rest ...
    Updated Jun 23 2016 07:08 am   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: The only objectionable thing about a gay wedding is me
    I’ll just come right out and say it so you can stop reading if this sort of thing offends you. Ready? I performed my first LGBT wedding on Saturday. ...
    Updated Jun 15 2016 09:58 pm   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: The kingdom of heaven is full of howling children
    Editor’s note • Robert Kirby is off today. This is a reprint of an earlier column. The quietest church service I ever attended was a Catholic Mass...
    Updated Jun 14 2016 03:22 pm   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: Here’s one way to tell if your job is crap
    Editor’s note • Robert Kirby is on vacation, but he’s definitely coming back. This is a reprint of an earlier column. Forget your college degrees,...
    Updated Jun 10 2016 09:22 pm   |     |   Share
  • | Courtesy Robert Kirby  Robert Kirby and his wife, Irene, on their wedding day. Oct. 10, 1975. Kirby: Canadians can be terrorists — just ask my wife
    Editor’s note: Robert Kirby is risking his life in Canada. This is a reprint of an earlier column. Federal agents are conducting a background che...
    Updated Jun 08 2016 10:04 pm   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: Don’t let religion — or its absence — tear a family apart
    Editor’s note • Robert Kirby is in Canada. This is a reprint of an earlier column. I touched a pulse. Or maybe it was a nerve. Anyway, the column ...
    Updated Jun 05 2016 09:52 am   |     |   Share