In reality, with Thanksgiving out of the way, there is no major holiday left except Christmas, celebrated throughout America by maxing out credit cards and brawling over parking spaces at the mall.

In the next 30 days, Christians both fair and foul will show their appreciation for the arrival of Jesus by hanging colored lights, stuffing down high-carb food and giving expensive gifts.

Let's not kid ourselves. Giving gifts is what Christmas is all about. Without this blatant materialism, Christmas would be just another Thanksgiving where everyone sat around and ate and pretended to be grateful.

Go ahead. Write me letters about what Christmas is supposed to be about. I'm not saying it isn't. I'm saying there's a difference between what we say and what we do.

Giving gifts is tricky. The closer you get to your heart, the more careful you have to be with what you give. You can get away with giving a co-worker an oil change coupon, but you'd better think twice about trying that with your wife/girlfriend/mistress.

The most expensive Christmas gift I typically give goes to my wife. Not because she demands it, but because she deserves it. No one, not even God, has put up with more crap from me than she has.

So, even though it's the Lord's "birthday," most of my thought and money goes into what I get my wife. It's intended to let her know how much I care.

After the wife come the kids and grandkids, then friends, neighbors, assorted co-workers and professional acquaintances. If I'm paying attention, it also includes the milk guy, the mail gal, the paper person and the damn dentist.

All of this comes down to money, namely how much I can afford. It's here where materialism creeps in and cheapens the moment. Ten bucks or ten thousand, it has to fit a budget somehow.

The coolest gifts are the ones that you don't have to budget for. They might be expensive to the point of serious effort, but you can always afford them. Here's a short list:

l Forgiveness: This works even on people who don't celebrate Christmas, per se. We all have someone in our lives who could do with a nice box of this under the tree. Whatever it is, let it go.

l Apology: Ditto. You aren't human if you don't have a bunch of people on your list who would appreciate even a little bit of this. It can be painful, but maybe it's time to start budgeting for it.

l Kindness: This year, how about being a little nicer to people you have to be around, people you might previously ignore because they're on the periphery of your life? Usually a kind word will do.

l Empathy: Here's where you start giving gifts to people you don't even know - a street bum, some kid in Iraq, even criminals. Just once try seeing them as your brothers and sisters.

The nice thing about these gifts is that they come back. Unlike a material Christmas, you actually get out of debt giving this stuff away.

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Contact Robert Kirby at rkirby@sltrib.com or 801-257-8719. To comment on this column, write livingeditor@sltrib.com.