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Please answer the following questions.

1. Have you or a loved one recently OD'd on candy corn?

2. Are the pumpkins on your front porch rotting?

3. Have your kids already worn out their costumes?

4. Have your kids already worn out their replacement costumes?

5. Are you itching to take down your Halloween decorations because you're sick of looking at them?

6. Have the "fun size" candy bars you bought for trick-or-treaters gone stale?

7. Or did you eat them all up?

8. Except, of course, for the "fun size" Mr. Goodbars.

9. Does anybody in America actually like the "fun size" Mr. Goodbars?

10. And finally, are you just really, really surprised that Halloween hasn't officially happened yet?

If you answered "yes" to these questions, chances are excellent that you are suffering from Halloween Fatigue.

Here's the deal. I love Halloween. I always have, especially now that I'm not responsible for anybody's costumes. True Confession Time: I was always the token Lame Mom when it came to costumes. I was like, "Here's a pizza box from last night. Take it school for the Halloween parade and tell everybody you're the pizza delivery guy. The good news is that you'll get candy AND tips!"

It's true. I was always that mother who made other mothers feel better about themselves.

Anyway. I think Halloween is tons of fun. I still put up decorations. My husband and I carve pumpkins. We hand out candy to the neighborhood kids and also to the roving packs of teenagers that start showing up on the front porch after 9 so they won't beat us up. In other words, I am filled with the Halloween Spirit.

Except.

I just want it to be over with, already.

Why? Because it feels like we've been celebrating Halloween since August, which is when I first spotted Halloween costumes at the Costco. In fact, stores all over Salt Lake City have been in full Halloween mode since early September. (The irony, of course, is that Halloween merchandise is already on sale — and it's not even the morning after yet.)

I've worked in enough retail settings to understand why this happens. Holidays are important to a store's financial health, so it makes sense to stretch out a holiday retail season. The problem is that as soon as the window displays go up — even if the holiday is months away — we consumers follow suit.

Here's what I wish: that all of us individually and collectively would take a Holiday Chill Pill. Here's what would happen if we did.

We would do Halloween things only during the month of October.

We would not allow that most American of holidays, Thanksgiving, to be overshadowed by the Christmas season.

We would celebrate Christmas only during the month of December.

We would wait to buy valentines and conversation hearts until the month of February even though they appear on the seasonal grocery store aisle as soon as Christmas is over.

We would refuse to let spring's religious holidays get any bigger than they already are. (Question: Am I crazy to think that an Easter basket does not need to be filled with expensive gifts?)

We'd all go to a ballgame and buy a hot dog together on the Fourth of July.

We would take a moment to remember what Martin Luther King Day, Presidents Day, Memorial Day, Labor Day and Veterans Day are really all about.

And we would take a sacred vow to never ever commercialize Arbor Day.

Now that's a manifesto I can live with!

Ann Cannon can be reached at acannon@sltrib.com.