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Robert Kirby

Last Updated Jul 27, 2015 10:41PM

You got a favorite song, one that you might want played or sung at your funeral? I never did. I always thought funerals were for the living. If they have to sit for an hour, shouldn’t they pick what they …

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  • (Francisco Kjolseth | The Salt Lake Tribune)  
Sgt. Lisa Pascadlo hands out stickers to kids camped out along the Pioneer Day parade route on Thursday night. Kirby: Exploring the not-so-dark underbelly of SLC before Pioneer Day
    Thursday evening rush hour was a two-way event in Salt Lake City. While tired workers abandoned the place, thousands of giddy curb dwellers descended ...
    Updated Jul 25 2015 09:58 pm   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: The LDS Church could diversify its leadership by calling me
    Still no call — phone or otherwise — regarding me being considered for a place in the LDS Quorum of the Twelve. I’m not surprised. Such a calling requ...
    Updated Jul 25 2015 09:28 pm   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: Don’t be a dummy this Pioneer Day
    Friday is the 168th anniversary of the arrival of the Mormon pioneers. Depending on your point of view, this is something to celebrate or lament. Eith...
    Updated Jul 21 2015 08:04 am   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: In Utah, isn’t every day National Ice Cream Day?
    Today is a very important day for Utah. It’s every bit as significant to Utahns as are Pioneer Day, Fourth of July, and Disposable Diaper Invention Da...
    Updated Jul 19 2015 10:00 am   |     |   Share


MORE ROBERT KIRBY COLUMNS
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: Being in charge never automatically makes anyone right — even Mormon leaders
    Last Sunday, the bishop in my LDS ward read the letter from the Brethren spelling out the church’s stand on traditional marriage, namely that it shoul...
    Updated Jul 22 2015 05:40 pm   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: Why you should read this column even though it’s not a list
    If you have spent more than a minute online you will have encountered a dubious form of journalism known as a “listicle.” Listicle is a web term for ...
    Updated Jul 17 2015 09:59 pm   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby Classic: Five kinds of non-Mormons
    This classic Robert Kirby column originally was published in the collection “Sunday of the Living Dead” in 1995. While Mormons tend to view gentiles a...
    Updated Jul 13 2015 05:21 pm   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: Would it be so bad if I were called as an LDS apostle?
    If you’re not LDS, you might want to stop reading right now. Today’s column only really concerns believing Mormons. Unless, of course, you’re just idl...
    Updated Jul 13 2015 02:00 pm   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: There’s nothing like girls camp to make you wish you were dead
    Last week, I participated in a dark religious ritual to remind me of my declining mortal nature and help me understand that my time on Earth is coming...
    Updated Jul 12 2015 02:47 pm   |     |   Share
  • FILE - In this Nov. 29, 2014, file photo, Utah defensive back Dominique Hatfield is congratulated by fans as he leaves the field after Utah's 38-34 victory over Colorado in an NCAA college football game, in Boulder, Colo. Hatfield has been arrested on suspicion of robbing a man who wanted to buy an Xbox from him. Unified Police of Salt Lake County say the victim was meeting with Hatfield on Wednesday, July 1, 2015, after seeing an online classified ad when Hatfield pulled out a knife and demanded the money. (AP Photo/David Zalubowski, File) Kirby: There’s nothing wrong with a little regret
    Today’s column is not about football despite the immediate mention of University of Utah cornerback Dominique Hatfield. I don’t follow sports and have...
    Updated Jul 07 2015 07:55 pm   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: It’s not God or the LGBT community that needs to apologize
    Just how bad is it that the U.S. Supreme Court ruled same sex marriage constitutional? Is it sort of bad, pretty bad, or so horribly bad that God may ...
    Updated Jul 09 2015 08:13 pm   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: I screwed up a lot, but did my part for America
    On my key ring is one of the military dog tags I wore during active duty with the U.S. Army in the early ’70s. Whenever I look at it, I’m reminded th...
    Updated Jul 05 2015 03:11 pm   |     |   Share
  • Singer Gordon Lightfoot performs during the CFL's 100th Grey Cup Championship Halftime Show at the Rogers Centre on Sunday, Nov. 25, 2012, in Toronto. (Photo by Arthur Mola/Invision/AP) Kirby: Gordon Lightfoot’s seen better days, but the feeling’s not gone
    Gordon Lightfoot took the stage at the Sandy Amphitheater on Wednesday evening. Three of his biggest fans — my wife and friends Chris and Norm — barel...
    Updated Jun 30 2015 06:01 pm   |     |   Share
  • FILE - In this July 19, 2011 file photo, Confederate battle flags fly outside the museum at the Confederate Memorial Park in Mountain Creek, Ala., Tuesday, July 19, 2011. (AP Photo/Dave Martin, File) Kirby: Why I gave up the Confederate flag
    I planned to have three sons when I got married. Pretty hilarious, huh? Like it was totally up to me. Five seconds after it happened, I discovered tha...
    Updated Jul 07 2015 11:40 pm   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: It’s not God or the LGBT community that needs to apologize
    Just how bad is it that the U.S. Supreme Court ruled same sex marriage constitutional? Is it sort of bad, pretty bad, or so horribly bad that God may ...
    Updated Jul 09 2015 08:13 pm   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: I screwed up a lot, but did my part for America
    On my key ring is one of the military dog tags I wore during active duty with the U.S. Army in the early ’70s. Whenever I look at it, I’m reminded th...
    Updated Jul 05 2015 03:11 pm   |     |   Share
  • Singer Gordon Lightfoot performs during the CFL's 100th Grey Cup Championship Halftime Show at the Rogers Centre on Sunday, Nov. 25, 2012, in Toronto. (Photo by Arthur Mola/Invision/AP) Kirby: Gordon Lightfoot’s seen better days, but the feeling’s not gone
    Gordon Lightfoot took the stage at the Sandy Amphitheater on Wednesday evening. Three of his biggest fans — my wife and friends Chris and Norm — barel...
    Updated Jun 30 2015 06:01 pm   |     |   Share
  • FILE - In this July 19, 2011 file photo, Confederate battle flags fly outside the museum at the Confederate Memorial Park in Mountain Creek, Ala., Tuesday, July 19, 2011. (AP Photo/Dave Martin, File) Kirby: Why I gave up the Confederate flag
    I planned to have three sons when I got married. Pretty hilarious, huh? Like it was totally up to me. Five seconds after it happened, I discovered tha...
    Updated Jul 07 2015 11:40 pm   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: Wait, did we miss the second coming?
    A few days ago, I dug out my LDS patriarchal blessing to see how I was doing. Traditionally given to Mormon teens, the blessings are intended to be ...
    Updated Jul 07 2015 11:36 pm   |     |   Share
  • (Brian Maffly  |  The Salt Lake Tribune)   

San Juan County Commissioner Phil Lyman declines to speak with reporters as he leaves U.S. District Court in Salt Lake City. On Thursday, his lawyer concluded Lyman's defense against federal charges arising from an illegal ATV ride Lyman led in Utahís Recapture Canyon to protest BLM policies restricting motorized access. The four defendants put on only one witness, local water master Ferd Johnson. The case goes to the jury Friday. Kirby: Why should Utahns pay for Lyman’s bad idea?
    I am more than passingly familiar with the horrible feeling that things are turning out much worse than anticipated. Most people have experienced it. ...
    Updated Jul 07 2015 09:27 pm   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: It’s not what it looked like
    Given the political climate at the Salt Lake City Police Department, today's column is a confession. It will probably ruin me, but times being what th...
    Updated Jul 07 2015 11:11 pm   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: Getting dressed with the program
    There’s a dress code where I go to church. It’s been in place since I can remember. Exactly how rigidly it’s currently enforced, I no longer know. Nob...
    Updated Jul 08 2015 10:14 pm   |     |   Share
  • (Francisco Kjolseth  |  The Salt Lake Tribune)  
Years of wind and water are ever present in the walls of a slot canyon in the Grand Staircase-Escalante National Monument. Kirby: How not to be the subject of a Utah search-and-rescue operation
    One of the things of which I am most proud is that despite having only a double-digit IQ, I have never been the focus of a search and rescue operation...
    Updated Jun 16 2015 06:01 pm   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: Dangerous animals live in high places
    Last week, Sonny and I made our semi-annual pilgrimage to Tavaputs Ranch. Preparations were mindlessly easy. They always are when going to heaven. Be...
    Updated Jul 07 2015 09:04 pm   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: Some apology is in order
    About five minutes into my LDS mission, I figured out that I was never going to be the typical missionary. It just wasn't in me. While still in the f...
    Updated Jun 12 2015 10:37 pm   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: Prison is where the heart is
    Given how often the possibility of prison was factored into my childhood, I should be something of an expert on the matter. Maybe it’s time for me to...
    Updated Jun 09 2015 07:00 am   |     |   Share
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