A visit to Piest'any, Slovakia's premier spa town, used to be a purely institutional prospect - bland hotels, antiseptic facilities, gruff attendants. But things were supposed to have changed. The fresh coat of paint on the neoclassical buildings seemed to bode well . . . but were all my Nurse Ratched fears about to be realized?
The first tourists of record arrived at Piest'any's thermal waters (bubbling out of the ground at up to 158 degrees) way back in 1113. But little remains of any settlement predating an 1813 flood. You can see numerous late-1800s neoclassical and romantic structures still standing on Spa Island (Kupel'ny ostrov) and in the old town (stary mesto) across the Vah River. The post-World War I art nouveau building boom is most evident along the riverfront and in Martin Benka's etched glass artwork of the Colonnade Bridge. You're best off just ignoring the concrete-block eyesores built under 50 years of communism.
During this time, few outsiders were allowed in; Slovak residents came for six-week cures upon doctor recommendation. It took a while, but in the past few years, town officials seem to have figured out that hot water means cool cash. Old buildings are being restored and eucalyptus whirlpool baths added to the menu. In mid-2007, after a major renovation, the spa's 1912 luxury hotel and bath house, the Thermia Palace and the Irma, reopened to much acclaim.
The cacophony of languages that greets you as you walk in to sign up for Spa Island's services at the main desk in the Napoleon I building is encouraging. You need appointments because most of the soaking is done during semiprivate, same-sex "mirror pool" mineral pool sessions (the Irma's is the most ornate). The Eva Pool and the Balnea Grande Hotel do have public hot-spring swimming pools, though. One of the newest treatments is the "salt cave," where 45 minutes in a rock-salt-lined room (twinkly lights, lounge chairs and New Age music included) is supposed to clear your breathing. Treatments run from $24 for an hour's massage to $48 for a signature mud wrap.
After I lay back and mud oozed uncomfortably, the attendant piled big handfuls of the claylike stuff around the edges of me before wrapping my naked self mummy-style in sheets and blankets. "Sasa?" I called through the partition to my friend.
"Why didn't my mother warn me?" she answered. "This is what she's been doing in Piest'any all these years?"
People visit spa towns to relax and rejuvenate, so don't expect any loud parties. Walking is the main attraction, and both the island and the town have large parks with flower gardens abloom in spring and summer. Meander past other sweatsuit-wearing spa-goers and ignore the faint whiff of rotten eggs as they pass. It's the sulfur in the water that has healing properties. In the evening, seek out the Kursalon (www.kursalon.sk; Beethovenova 5), which has been providing classical music and dancing in City Park since 1894. More modern pleasures are to be found around Winterova, the town's pedestrian main street. Cafes - with full bars - like Modry Anjel (Sad Andreja Kmet'a 28) are the perfect place to while away a few hours, and restaurants such as the Art Jazz Gallery (Winterova 29) sometimes host evening performances.
After a few minutes, the attendant came back to blot my sweaty brow. This is OK, I think; until she starts with the instructions again. Standing me in front of her, she proceeds to throw hot mud on my stomach, my upper chest and my thighs, leaving sensitive areas glaringly white. "Rinse!" she said, pointing to the shower. It took 15 minutes of solid washing to rid myself of the mud. Afterward I met Sasa in the mirror pool. Duty done, our attendants are all smiles and jokes. Turned out they were just being serious, not sadistic. Maybe things have changed after all.
Getting there
* Czech Airlines (www.csa.cz/en) flies from the United States via Prague to Bratislava (around $900). Piest'any is a 1 1/4 -hour train ride from there.
* You can arrange weeklong curative stays with the spa office, Spa Piest'any (011-421-33-7752-198; www.spapiestany.sk; Winterova 29; Monday to Friday, 7 a.m. to 6 p.m.). For day services go directly to the cashier desk (Spa Island, Napoleon 1; 7:30 a.m. to 7 p.m. daily).
Where to stay
* Art nouveau murals by Alphonse Mucha and statuary surrounding the guests-only outdoor hot-spring pool are just two of the exquisite details retained in the restoration of the Thermia Palace (011-421-33-7756-111; www.spapiestany.sk; Spa Island; rooms $119-$189).
* The more modest Pro Patria (011-421-33-7756-211; www.spa piestany.sk; Spa Island; rooms $65-$90) has twin-bed rooms above spa-service facilities.
